Time To Give Up

I am hoping you might know Richard Bach, he, being an American like you. In case you don't, he authored the 70's bestseller, Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions: The Adventures of the Reluctant Messiah. I am sure you already read both, if not one of these books. Again if for some reason or another, you weren't able to read any of them because you were busy with extra-curricular activities when you were in highschool, let me tell you that from one of those books, the famous quote... “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” was lifted.

I really do not know if I need to explain to you these words or not. Dude, they are so freaking simple and easy to understand that you can swallow them verbatim, take them as they are. No hidden meanings, no underlying implications and message. This quote is a no brainer and you do not need to burn even a few neurons to fathom the essence of it. Obviously the other person wanted to restore normalcy rationality and sanity in life, can't you get it? Somebody from your past bid you farewell and never came back and I reckon you have to accept and live with that fact. The person NEVER became yours, ever. Sure, you had your share of good times together but can you not dig it, those are passe already, those are things of the past and mind you we all should not live under the shadows of our past, be it good or not.

A true gentleman humbly accepts defeat. A true gentleman knows when to back off and let others have a normal, peaceful and quiet life. A true gentleman is not deceitful and treacherous, doesn't offer his shoulder to cry only to grab the opportunity to later on satisfy his lust for worldly things! That's not a mark of a true gentleman and I seriously believe you are way too far from being one, even if you die trying to be one. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot....

Your time is up, next victim please....

Secrets... Shoosh!

Alright, maybe they're not...

I am a frustrated surgeon, turned paediatrician, turned full time phlebotomist!

I used to sing Beatles' songs before I fell in love with jazz (not "just" music) and R&B :)

I've been driving since I was 16 but it took me 42 years to finally buy my own "used" car!

I am a tech savvy but ever since I started earning on my own, became stingy and mingy.

I really despised the late Cardinal Sin because he mixed church and politics! (i hate the guy!)

I was a Thomasian Class 1991 but graduated a Fatimanian (is there such a word???)!

I once weighed close to 90 kgs before I realised enough is enough, now I am down to 74 ;).

I always take 3 pills for breakfast but sometimes I do abstain!

I wanted to insure my hands for a million bucks but I think they are worth more than that! ;)

I once tried break dancing and ended up with busted lips!

I just do not have a real talent! I think I am a master of none and it's true! :(

I think I am worst at public speaking and I always do not have something remarkable to talk about.

I can write, apparently, and at least I think I am a decent writer.

I need someone who believes in me and can give directions and focus in life (I'm happy, I finally met her) :)

I have a hard time eating fish but sometimes it is just selective. (Iove bangus!)

I was once a member of the "Youth for Democracy Movement" who campaigned for Marcos and Tolentino.

I was a regular Red Cross blood donor and signed up as an organ donor as well.

I am really glad I still have this blog where I can write what I can't say!

Enough secrets for now!!!

Whatever Will Be Will Be

When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother what will I be... Here's what she said to me... Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see. Writing those words made me hum to the tune of the old country song, Que Sera Sera. These lines made me think about how mysterious and unpredictable life can be, makes me ponder about life's unsure issues. One question just popped in my mind... Do you reckon failures and successes are born out of sheer luck? They sometimes say "if you don't make things happen, things will happen to you." Sounds right and fair, isn't it?

I know that fate SOMETIMES decide, I remember I wrote something to that effect. Seriously, serendipity should not determine the outcome of our own lives. I believe that it is our choice that matters in the end and it is not chance that should influence our tomorrow. So much were written and said about the role of luck or fortune in people's lives. Shakespeare believed that our future depends on how we are going to shape it and not just by chance alone. He once said and I quote, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves," An old Filipino saying, "Nasa D'yos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa," holds true then and up to now.

But sometimes, we just can't help but surrender to the Divine providence. I know, not everybody will swallow that with ease. For many, it will be easier to bite, chew and swallow raw bitter melons than accept the fact that Someone up there had planned our lives way ahead of time. There will come a time in your life that you'll just say... "His will be done" and surrender everything to Him. For the time being, I just want to say, whatever will be, will be. I am just hoping for the best. I know it's not entirely acceptable but I will settle with that for now.

Que sera sera, what will be, will be.

Enough ranting, goodnight!

Thanks To This Blogsite, I Still Can Post What I Want

I love this blogsite... Patronise my own!

Integrity

So much for the Yuletide break, it's now business as usual. People are now back to work, businesses open, children return to schools. In the Philippines, election fever is in the air. A few more months and the reign of the worst administration in Philippine history will be over. Filipinos have endured so much... Time to change the leadership and replace the evil one at helm.

Many candidates are vying for the highest seat of the land. Some are qualified, some never really come close to even a mere resemblance of being a barangay chairman, still there are some who seem to come from looney bins straight to the elections commission filing their candidacies. What a pity... tsk tsk tsk.. When will our country get what it deserves? Frankly if I were in the Philippines, I will be thinking more than 10x whether I will cast my vote or not. In my opinion, among all the aspirants for presidency, nobody has the integrity to say, "I am the one."

Honesty, indeed, is such a lonely word... everyone is so untrue! I bet you can still recall those famous lines from Billy Joel's old song. That phrase is so accurate, I can vouch for that! I reckon almost all of mankind have something hidden in themselves, something that can tarnish their sense of moral uprightness, honesty and integrity. I am now beginning to wonder... is there really a person of integrity living in this world today? It seems that almost everybody is doing or had done something under somebody's noses.

My hat's off to the chosen few who in one way or another uphold their sense of loyalty, honesty and integrity. I know that only a handful roam the earth nowadays. I seriously wish that people will still change and come to realise that it is worth living honestly.

May the good Lord forgive the dishonest ones.

Foresight 2010

I am pretty sure many will be blogging or had blogged already about how 2009 came to be. Most, if not all, will be thinking back in retrospect and heaps will be fascinated on how the previous year went by in a jiffy. Accolades will be given, kudos, written and tributes will be expressed. Still, some will be writing down their new year's resolution list (which I suitably call a list of "would be broken promises") and will be trying hard to do it. I commit myself to write about what I reckon this new year will be for me. I know it doesn't concern you at all but what the heck, I might as well rant.

Frankly I have so much expectations for '10. I seriously believe this is going to be my year and I am hoping that this "Tiger" will be good for me for 365 days! 10 is a good number to start, though a little late, it's way much better than never. I see myself starting a whole new chapter of my life this year, scary and unpredictable as it may seem, I am up and ready for the challenges that lie ahead. I am expecting to start a little family of my own, apart and away from the family who brought me up to this world. All I want to do is pack my bags, go to that unchartered place and forever live a life of love, peace, harmony and contentment.

I am also looking forward that this year will be good and kind to my sister, Abel. I am praying that she will soon triumph and emerge victorious in her battle against this dreadful cancer that took the happiness in her and our family. I am optimistic that with God's will, she will have a complete and total remission and will be free of this malignancy for good.

I am longing for a better and more comfortable life for my Nanay and Tatay, who of all people in this earth, deserve all the abundance, luxury, enjoyment, happiness and gratification that life can give. I am sure they will continue to live long, stay healthy and continue to be our source of strength and joy. I anticipate a superb year for all my siblings and their families. I look forward to see my nephews and niece grow another year wiser and smarter. I am hoping that all of them will be showered with good health and more wealth.

Lastly it is still my desire to see a better Philippines. I know it is close to impossible but I still wish the best for my homeland. May the least of the evils prevail in the elections. I also hope the whole world will recover from the difficult economic downfall it is experiencing at the moment.

Happy new year to you.

Resolution Or Irresolution?

2009 is coming to an end. New year is just around the bush, hiding, ready to pop out any minute from now. Together with 2010 come heaps of resolutions, intentions, commitments and promises. People almost always try to fashion out ways to do or not to do things for a change, to make life easier and better. But do you honestly believe these new year's resolutions are being done at all?

My answer to that query is a resounding NO! I for one is guilty of this, not changing for the better. After a fit of holiday giddiness, I am pretty sure that all of these resolutions and plans will just end up in the rubbish bin. Funny how people still take time to make a list of things they want to change for the year ahead... such a waste of time, effort and resources. Why not for a change, forget these new year's resolution thing and move along with our own lives, see how it goes. Let us spare ourselves with all of these disappointments and frustrations! Expect less... that's the way it should be.

By the way the opposite of resolution according to the thesaurus is "weakness." A fitting word for the human race. Aren't we all lame???

Have a good new year y'all.

Loneliness Bug

Whew! Here I go again... Whinging if you might say, but hey, today really is a bloody frantic day at work. Everybody and everything needs to be done before the Christmas break. Believe it or not, I started at half past 12 and it's nearly 8ish before I got the chance to sit and rest. Whoa! What a day this really is. Earlier, before I can even log-on and put my stuff away, I was immediately plagued by handovers and endorsements, the main phone, which is a familiar accessory on my waist didn't stop ringing. It really was ridiculous, really crazy if I may add.

Now, I feel so tired and lonely... Looks like I literally consumed all my adrenaline. There's no more energy left in me anymore, hence another one of my rants! I cant help but look back on my past life back home, when I used to be on top of everything. Frustrating! This freaking loneliness bug is on my tail and is catching up quite fast. I hate this feeling! Bugger!

How I wish this haunting feeling will go away. I don't want to be sad come Christmas day. I don't want to wear a frowning mask at home and at work. Please help me drive this crazy feeling away.

I am so lost!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Depth Of Field

Some shots from my new Sigma lens...

Asian Pride

I know that much has been said and written about the Manny Pacquiao, Miguel Cotto bout. I know this post will be so redundant because all the congratulatory remarks and accolades have been expressed and done by everybody. Pardon me, I know that this post is a superfluity already but I really can't help but be vocal to impart how proud I am to belong to the Pacman's race. Not only does he represent the entire Filipino race but the whole Asian race as well.

We truly are world class! Thanks to you Manny! You taught them a lesson or two on how to give respect to the brown race.

Mabuhay ka MANNY PACQUIAO! Kudos to you! Well done, mate!

What Do You Do At Sunset?

As the sun sets in the west, how many of us reflect on the day which is about to be covered by the dusking skies? Most if not all of us will just chalk it up as another day gone by, another finished page about to be turned over. Many come home to be with their families and to have a well deserved rest. Some continue to enjoy life through the night not mindful of the next day's challenges and debacles. A minority will be just starting their day, perennially working the grave yard shifts.

What really is behind the sunset? Aside from the fading of the daylight in the skies, I believe that there is more to sunset other than the disappearance of the sun. I reckon sunset is a very lovely way used by God to remind us all of the limited period of time we have on this earth. He wants us to remember the state of us all being subjected to death and that we are all mortals after all. For me, sunset connotes a period of decline in our life, physically, emotionally and mentally as well. Sunset reminds me of the inevitable end. Sunset is a time to be thankful to Him for the many blessings received during the day. A time to be conscious of all the things said and done. A time of reflection, serious thinking and consideration. A time to patch up all differences, disagreements and disputes. A time to look back, remember, cherish good experiences, forget and learn from bad ones. A time to pray and give praises to Him.

What do you really do during sunsets? The next time you see one, please be thankful to God for His goodness to you and to all of mankind. Be reminded of the borrowed time we have and that we have to use it wisely and meaningfully. Be mindful of all the people around us especially the ones we love and cherish. Be reminded to say I LOVE YOU.

Back To The Hospital

Abel was confined at Westmead Hospital again. She was scheduled to undergo another course of chemotherapy prior to her bone marrow transplant on the 14th. This will be the last of the treatment she will be receiving for her AML. So far her full blood picture is within normal limits and she's still in remission. We are all praying for her full recovery.

Again, I am appealing to all of you out there reading this post to please include her in your prayers. In behalf of her and our whole family, our sincerest gratitude. May God have mercy on us all.

Paradoxical

While punishing myself on the treadmill earlier, I thought of the very old paradox about the immovable object and the unstoppable force. It gave me an idea of a topic to expound on. Something to write about and make my blogsite move. A statement that indeed draws a senseless conclusion, no matter how sound or how sane your reasoning is. A phrase so contradicting that it will make your balls ache trying to decipher or interpret it.

There was once a gun store owner selling armour piercing bullets and bullet proof vests. When asked how good the bullets are, the owner said that the bullets can pierce through anything and when asked how good the vests are he replied that the vests can defend any gunshot attacks. Then when asked what will happen if his armour piercing bullets were to be used against his vests, the owner could not give a good answer. Made him think and stopped claiming that his bullets can pierce everything and his vests can protect anyone from any gunshot attacks.

Sometimes this paradox happens in reality, in our very own lives. What really will happen when an unstoppable force finally meets an immovable object? Disaster, adversity, failure and tragedy I suppose. Again it all boils down to one catastrophic and destructive word which rules and dominates the whole of mankind, PRIDE. Not the group of lions forming a social unit, the pride that I am talking about is related to the consciousness of one's own excellence and dignity. Unless each and everyone of us learn how to swallow our pride and be open to opinions and suggestions of others, nothing good will ever happen in this earth. Since the time of Adam and Eve and up to now, we all learned and witnessed one way or another how a simple clinging to one's pride can do horrific consequences.

To end this senseless post, may I quote an old adage, PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL.

I rest my case... Back to the treadmill and burn more calories!

Email For IV Diamond Batch '83

Hello there my dear friends!

It's nice to hear from all of you again, yun nga lang not in a very good time because of the circumstances that happened recently to the Philippines. i join hands with all of in prayers... I know that praying is the most important thing that we could offer them, for now.

As our country suffer from a horrendous tragedy, our family here in Sydney is still weathering a great storm... my sister, Abel is still battling a very dreadful malignancy, she's not yet out of the woods. She is to undergo another course of chemo and Stem-cell transplant come November. I am also appealing to all of you to continue to offer prayers for her. I know there is strength in numbers, kapag marami tayong magdadasal, mas malakas at maugong ang dating nito sa KANYA. My sincerest gratitude in advance.

I hope GOD will bless the Philippines and each and everyone of us.

Regards to all!

Boy

Circumstances And My Tomorrow

It's been a while, I know. I don't want to fabricate alibis to cover my unproductiveness. I can't think of an acceptable excuse to cloak my worthlessness. Fact of the matter is that I became so lazy thinking of something to write about to update this weblog of mine. It seems that my dull, routine and monotonous existence reached its plateau already. No more exciting things to write. No more new happenings and events to tell. No more incidents and experiences to share. Nothing... Nada... Nought... Nil... Zero... Zilch!

I can't complain much, I mean, I know that I should be the one controlling my destiny, my future, my life, but now I think circumstances do. I admit I should dictate how circumstances will work towards my destiny but at the moment its the other way around. I anticipated that sooner or later this will happen to me and to us and now it looks like it is becoming a reality. Makes me think I am inept, useless and futile. I know deep in my heart I am not. I wish I could do something but my hands seem to be tied, my legs bound, my lips silenced and my brain forced to a grinding halt.

I am just hoping for the best, fingers crossed. I hope I can get out of this dilemma soon. At the moment, only time can tell about the outcome. Nobody can envision what really is there for me and for us tomorrow. Faith in Him and reassuring words from her are the only armaments I have. I know in the end, things will still work out well for me and for us. Good will triumph over evil and everyone will live happily ever after.

I rest my case...

Why Is It Always Like This?

The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

Picnic Day

I took and finished the Australian Citizenship exam today. After a few days of half-hazard review, finally it's over. Now I can apply for Aussie citizenship and hopefully get a blue passport so I can go to visit Nen in LA. Blue is better than green to some freaking people. Now they can't deny me entry if I have blue!

It's a good thing I was granted my picnic day, today. At least I can relax after a whole week of work. I just want to enjoy this day. No cleaning of our car, no house chores, no washing of dishes, no cooking, no laundry... i'll just have fun.

Right now I am here at Abel's. I wasn't able to see her since Friday so I thought I'd pay her a visit. I am glad she is doing OK. Thank God! Oh well, enough said for the day...

Ciao!

ZZZZZZzzzzzz, I Hope

It is nearly half past one and I am having another one of those sleepless nights. I can't doze off even if my whole body wants to rest, this is so annoying and to think I have to report early for work later as I will be pitching in for my colleague, Anjila.

I just had a chat with my sister, Heidi. She went online while inside a coffee shop near their place in Salcedo Village. She got bored waiting for Rommie so she decided to go out. It's good to see and catch up with her again.

Earlier I was talking to Nen. She and the kids will be driving to Vegas later today. I hope they will have a safe trip. I will miss her a lot because they will be staying there for 3 days and 2 nights. Our chat room will be empty, dang!

As I write, Nanay is holding on to my arm, as usual. She is peacefully sleeping, snoring at times. Sometimes I envy her, she doesn't have any problem whatsoever. I wish I could sleep soundly like what she is doing at the moment. After writing this post, I probably will just stare at her the whole night hoping that her sleep will become contagious and get into me.

I am still waiting for you, Sleep Fairy! Where the heck are you by the way?

Anyone Still Intersted?

It is already quarter past 12 midnight here, I still can't sleep, probably because the level of caffeine in my system is still at its peak. I was trying to bore myself to imbibe sleep so I thought of reading GMA's last State of the Nation Address. I haven't reached one fourth of the "mile long" speech prepared by God knows who and I got so annoyed I stopped reading it. I thought whingeing about it would be a better alternative.

From what I've read, she is commending herself for steering the country to calm waters, weathering the storm of the global economic crisis. Lauding oneself is not a good thing to do. It's plain and simple bu11$h!t! I reckon it's the Filipinos' resiliency that should be credited not her and her leadership. Please stop using Cory's name, which by the way she did at the beginning of the SONA, hoping to draw sympathy from the supporters of the original People Power's choice. The speech was boycotted by lawmakers, senators and congressmen alike, obviously fed up with lies and deceit. Most of all, majority of Filipinos probably did not care at all anymore.

The whole nation is already numb madame. Please get it over and done with and just leave. We already had enough. I guess you and all your henchmen are already full up to the brim. Please spare some for the poor Filipino nation. May God bless the Philippines.