Alone

For the past 2 weeks Nanay, Tatay and the rest of my siblings have been sleeping over at Abel's house and most of the time I stay in Chelsea by myself, alone in the coldness of winter. Once again I am lying on my bed staring at my notebook's monitor and my ears fixated at the ticking of our clock. As my mind wonder I realise how lonely, bland and empty life could be being alone.

Tonight is one of those "home alone" nights and my ever cumbersome IBS is at it again. Attacking me like hell. I am wincing in pain and I have nobody here to even help me boil water for the warm water bottle. I have to do it myself otherwise I could suffer an infarction of the heart if this pain persists. Bugger! I'll could expire here anytime without being noticed.

It seems like yesterday when I was basking in the love and attention of my family and friends. I was once a center of attraction. I had a fantastic life with a good profession. Life back then was very fulfilling, happy and fun. Never had I experienced being alone before.

Now that the wheel of fortune had turned and my life seems to be in its lowliest part, I know I have to tackle life unaided, unaccompanied and alone by myself. Frustrating as it may be, I already resign the fact that I will be like this until final judgment arrives. As the clock continues to tick my end is coming nearer and nearer. I pray that He would let me fade slowly and alone through the winter night.