Living My Life Anew
6 days from now I will be celebrating my 40th birthday. Whew! That was fast… I didn’t know I was that old already. I can’t believe I already lived more than half of my life. But where am I right now? What have I done and achieved these past 40 years? Those questions were haunting me every time I go to sleep at night… sad isn’t it. I was a victim of circumstances and I can’t do anything about it.
For those who know me well, I hope they understand my predicament. I hope that for you, I became productive and I lived my past 40 years well…
Life begins at 40, most of them say. Now that I am in Australia right now, I promise to strive hard and make up for loss grounds, but I will continue to do what I am doing for the past 11 years now. Care for my mother. I hope everything will turn out good here.
Join me in my prayers…
For those who know me well, I hope they understand my predicament. I hope that for you, I became productive and I lived my past 40 years well…
Life begins at 40, most of them say. Now that I am in Australia right now, I promise to strive hard and make up for loss grounds, but I will continue to do what I am doing for the past 11 years now. Care for my mother. I hope everything will turn out good here.
Join me in my prayers…
posted by Abner M. Hornedo, M.D. at 4:28 PM
7 Comments:
You're not alone. Victim of circumstances is a nice way of saying it. Yung pinsan ko nga , who was a salutatorian in high school, nung nakaita niya yung mga teenagers dito, sabi niya kung nakapunta kami dito nung mga bata pa kami,malayo na siguro ang narating namin. I was at my peak when I was having my residency training in Internal Medicine. Sina Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Russel Crowe mga kwarenta na rin but still in their prime. I think its all in your mind. There is so many positive things to do.So many things to learn. Ang big difference ngayon, mga major family decisions ako na ang nagde-decide.Major financial decisions ako na rin. Im actually having a great time pag dating sa home improvement. Ang habol ko lang naman talaga yung home equity, pero nakakatuwa kung yung mga kapitbahay namin gaya-gaya. Last week we painted the front yard with concrete stain, brick color. Gumaya yung kapitbahay naming puti. Today bumili kami ng lamp posts para sa front yard at isa pa para sa back yard. Yung kapit bahay naming Pilipino kontra, sabi bawal daw. Ano bang bawal doon eh front yard namin ang lalagyan ko. Pinauupahan lang namin yung bahay,pero pinapaganda namin dahil in preparation for the re-financing next year. Hindi ko kaya ang biglang home improvement, unti-unti lang muna. Ang swerte yung naunang tenant namin at ngayon yung bagong tenant namin. Sila talaga ang nakikinabang at gumagamit ng mga nabili namin. Tax deductible ang lahat ng gastos namin sa rental property kaya ok lang. January- June 2007 naubos ang oras ko sa home improvement, but Its all worth it, basta ba para sa pamilya. Now I have time for my studies. Yung 401 K ( retirement benefits) at yung Life Insurance ang foudation ko in the future. Yang stocks na yan, I would say mentally draining, you worry everyday, kaya saka na, bonds na lang.Tutal konti pa lang naman ang pera ko doon.
I will e-mail you later, alam ko yang sinking feeling na yan. I've been there.
mid life crisis pare...
mid life crisis pare...
When I first came here, I'm happy. Maraming simpleng bagay na nagagawa ako na BIG DEAL sa akin. Like giving gifts on Christmas sa family members. Hindi ko magawa yan sa Pilipinas. Yung kumain sa magandang restaurant, kung hindi pa dahil sa med rep hindi ko magagawa by myself. Kung very special na okasyon lang.Dito ok lang kumain sa restaurant kahit ako pa ang taya. Masaya na ako noon, trabaho, pag-ka suweldo, gastos sa pamilya.Mabayaran ang renta ng bahay, makabili ng pagkain. THAT'S IT ! Kasama ko ang nanay ko na mag-alaga sa ate ko na may advance breast cancer at yung tatay ko na may sakit sa puso. Looking back, its all worth it. They both passed away 5 years ago, then we made a big decision to buy a house. 15 years ang nanay ko sa America, wala pa ring bahay.Tulong-tulong lang kaming magkakapatid. That's the only way para makabili ng bahay dito sa San Francisco. Ganun din naman ang ginagawa ng mga Instik at mga latino.Ganun na lang ang naging takbo ng buhay ko, TRABAHO tapos gastos sa pamilya. Hanggang makakuha kami ng isa pang bahay for rental purposes. Hindi pa ako mayaman, dahil hindi pa nga bayad yung mga bahay. But ITS A START. Nung mag-umpisa ako ng 401 K, NAGBAGO ANG PANANAW KO SA BUHAY.THERE'S MORE TO LIFE than just working. YOU ARE ACTUALLY SAVING MONEY FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY. There is something to look forward to.It gave me a sense of direction.Less worry to the future.Eh ako pa naman na PESSIMIST. It worked for me, ngayon OPTIMIST na ako, kahit na uphill battle pa rin financially. AT LEAST MAY BUWELO di tulad ng dati na WALANG-WALA. All the signs are right nung mag-decide akong kumuha ng 401 K. Unang-una na yung mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho, they are talking about stocks, yung isa kong kasama 5 years lang may $65,000 na. Yung isa naka 2 beses na na nakautang ng $10,000 sa 401 K. I felt I was being left out. Tapos yung salary deduction BEFORE TAXES. Ibig sabihin the government are encouraging people to have 401 K.Noon ko lang na-realize yung mga commercial na Fidelity, Charles Schwab etc. that can manage your 401 K or your finances.
I think ang purpose ko sa mundong ito, GUMAWA NA LANG MABUTI. Tapos yung next generation na lang ang mag TATAMASA ng fruits ng labor ko.
Yung 401 K at yung Life Insurance gives me financial stabity when I'm old and done. Kaya pala ang tatapang ng mga matatanda dito, dahil dyan. At yung mga active senior citizens pa tour tour na lang.
doc abner, i know how you feel. di magkalayo edad natin. looking bad at my life, aminado rin ako....wala pa ako talagang masyadong na-accomplish. pero, tuloy ang laban. tuloy ang dasal. isang araw, magtatagumpay din.
Kahit noong nag-aaral pa ako ng Medicine noon , ang paborito ko sa Bible yung Ecclessiastes. Si King Solomon yata ang sumulat noon, the wisest man on earth. Its all about mid life crisis. Ang gusto ko doon yung "Dont be overly good" at yung "Dont be overly evil". It gives me a sense of balance in my LIFE. Up to now it guides me, lalo na ngayon. Tinatanong din doon kung ano ba ang "sense" ng mabuhay sa mundo, kakayod ka na lang ba para sa mga next generation? In the end sinabi doon na just enjoy life while you're still young. Were not young, but were not old either. MALAKAS PA. WE ARE STILL IN OUR PRODUCTIVE YEARS.HINDI PA TAYO UUGOD UGOD.
salamat mga kapwa ko doktor! mabuhay kayo! words like that uplift my spirit. alam ko naman that my future is still in my hands.
thanks for the moral support!
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