Anthology of ABNER HORNEDO, M.D.

Quote

2011-01-14T04:49:00.001+11:00

"...no matter how good they are, some memories need to be forgotten."

2010-11-13T00:15:00.000+11:00

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it."

John Lennon

Elsewhere

2010-11-03T20:49:00.003+11:00

He wakes to the sound of his mobile phone, relentlessly sounding an alarm as if telling "firies" to swing into action. He was about to enter another cycle of sleep when he was pestered by the annoying sound.

"Oh no! Not now." He whispered to himself. It was already quarter past five and he needs to get ready for another day at work. With his eyes half opened, his thoughts still adrift and his brain tiptoeing to the borderline of sleep and actuality, he reached for his phone, slid the screen lock to silence the alarm and exclaimed, "Dammit I still wanna sleep, shut the hell up!"

The night before that, he remembered waiting for somebody to show up in their usual rendezvous. He hang around for hours, puffing his cigar and sipping whiskey from his aluminum container. The night became deep, the air became colder, his tobacco reserve run out and his bottle dried up, he opted to head for home and called it a night. While walking, he wondered where the holy ghost could she be. It was so unusual for her to miss their regular night out. No calls, no nothing. Reaching his home, he went straight to bed and fell to a deep slumber but not after spending time pondering. His brain so hotly wired up, heaps of thoughts crisscrossed his mind. Like a bomb, it exploded, making his eyes move rapidly and then deep sleep ensued.

Morning came and still no sign of the lass. His phone smoked from repeated attempts to call her. Minutes turned to hours then finally a message from an uncanny source, a social networking application. She was stuck somewhere and she couldn't get out. He breathed a sigh of relief for earlier he thought aliens came, abducted her and made experiments on her.

The alarm went off again! He was startled while he simultaneously looked at his watch. "Dang, it's 5 past 6! He was dreaming the entire time!

Now he is late for work!

I Conquered No Mountain

2010-09-24T22:23:00.004+10:00

Coming home from a very long day is indeed a treat in itself. Removing my work clothes and shoes and raising my feet on the couch felt so good like winning stakes in the lottery. Whew! I think I really deserve this break to recharge. Earlier, I had another dragging and protracted day. It emptied my petrol tank, so to speak, draining almost all the energy in me.

After feeding my Mum and changing her nappies, I opted to unwind and have a rest on my dad's rocking chair. I thought the night was still young for me to call it a day so I booted my old and trusty notebook to check my mails and messages. I also reckoned I should just kill time while waiting for daybreak in LA so I can wake my wife to be and have a chat. I browsed my facebook account and had a look at some of my friends' posts and threads. By accident, I chanced upon the account of a man not personally known to me but very familiar to the person significant to me. I don't know how it appeared on the side of my own facebook profile. I know, I should have not clicked on that link and opened his page. I know, I should have not snooped around and stalked on his account. Honestly, I really do not do this in real life. I saw many pictures and read information about the old chap. I learned how successful his professional career is, how well travelled he is, how happy his family is, how athletic he can be, how he enjoyed the riches and wealth that life can give... I felt sad. I felt so sorry for myself.

I'm thinking, could life really be so unfair? Or is it really just my fault that I grew old to be like this? Am I so passive, so unassertive, so lame, so docile, so worthless? Why can't I be like that man raising his bike after conquering a mountain peak? Why haven't I conquered any mountain up to this point in time? I guess the answers to aIl of my queries will rely on myself and how I could turn around this miserable life of mine. I know there is still hope, no matter how little it may be. I should act fast and start now while I still have time.

Requiem For Pete Hornedo, 1934-2010

2010-07-23T16:31:00.009+10:00

It was on the 29th of June in the year 1934, our beloved father was born in a tiny barangay called Savidug in Sabtang, Batanes in the Philippines. He was named Pedro in honour of Saints Peter and Paul who were also having their feastday that day. He was the eldest among two boys, son of the late Remijia Hornedo.

Pete, as friends and family fondly call him, grew up impoverished, walking 5 kilometres to and from school everyday, carrying his books and his daily meal of boiled sweet potatoes prepared by his mother. He finished primary and secondary school, accelerated. He was too bright that his year 2 teacher promoted him to year 4 straightaway. Like many of the people from the provinces, he went to Manila after finishing high school to look for greener pastures. He attended college at the University of the East, in Manila where he took up B.S. Commerce. While studying, he worked as a kitchen help in Singian Hospital to finance his studies and to help his mother and brother whom he left in Batanes. Pete was always very eager to learn and because of this, he later became one of the hospital's chefs preparing food for all the patients, doctors and nurses. Indeed, he was a very good cook!

Whilst working in Singian Hospital, he met our mother, the former Leticia Mendoza, who was working there as well. They fell in love and the rest was history. Their marriage of more than 45 years were blessed with 5 children, Heidi, Abel Boy, Eric and Abigail. Pete was a very generous man, he was short of a "philanthropist" as family, friends and even strangers would almost always ask for help from him, financial or otherwise and they won't go out of our house empty handed. To his friends he was a very kind person and was always ready to help. He always had a solution to every problem and had his ways of making things simple. He never asked anybody for help but he was a very unselfish man, and he never wanted to be acknowledged for anything he did. When he helped he simply helped.

Pete was one of those hard working fathers. He was a very loving person, he took care and provided well for his family. He was very strict as a father but that’s only because he cared for us a lot. He was a disciplinarian but never laid a hand on any of us, ever. His words were the law in our house, a simple shoosh from him will pacify each and everyone of us. I remember an instance when he was calling us to the table for dinner, nobody paid attention to him as we were all watching our favourite cartoon show on TV, then suddenly the electricity went off. We all thought there was a brownout, then later on we learned that it was him who turned the main circuit breaker off to cut the power, for us to stop watching TV and have dinner. We used to dread him especially when he was angry, little did we know that he was already teaching us one of the most valuable lessons in life, standing up for what you believe in.

As I grew older, I also discovered that he was a very compassionate and kind person. I learned that the most important thing that he had was us, his family. Though he may never have said it out loud I know that he was really proud of what we have become. My sister Heidi, a CPA and had masters degree in business administration. My sister Abel finished AB Economics and had masters degree in Computer Programming as well. I became a Doctor of Medicine. My brother Eric, finished Mechanical Engineering and our youngest, Abigail became a Physical Therapist then later on finished Nursing here in Australia. He always imparted to us the value of education. He told us a hundred times to study hard and do good with our studies as it was the only wealth that he can leave us. We are who we are now because we had a father like him. As most of you may know my father never showed his feelings. He was very quiet and timid but with the help of a few drinks, I'm sure most of you saw the happier side of him. When we were quite young, I remember he always brought something for us when he came home from work, from a box of Curly Tops to a packet of Juicy Fruit gums.

He showed strength until the end, his last 2 months at the hospital was indeed a very difficult time for him and us. He did not leave us until we are all ready for his departure. I was very grateful to him he gave us time to prepare for his demise. Let’s just remember everything that my father shared with us. And let’s be happy that he has finally gone home to our Creator.

Godspeed Tatay, we will definitely miss you a lot. Thank you and We love you!

Food For Thought

2010-07-10T06:48:00.002+10:00

“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”

"Pride the first peer and president of hell."

"In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes."

"Pride will spit in pride's face."

"Pride comes before a fall"

"Pride is pleasure arising from a man's thinking too highly of himself."

"Pride and conceit were the original sins of man."

"Women love the lie that saves their pride, but never an unflattering truth."

"Pride, envy, avarice - these are the sparks have set on fire the hearts of all men."

"There is this paradox in pride -- it makes some men ridiculous, but prevents others from becoming so."

"Pride is the master sin of the devil, and the devil is the father of lies."

"Humility is the ability to give up your pride and still retain your dignity."

"Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there."

"Pride is the mask we make of our faults."

Baloney!

2010-07-03T12:54:00.004+10:00

I've been trying to control my fingers not to blog and whinge about what is happening to my father and the the way he is being managed by a "team" of doctors in the hospital. I know from day 1 that I do not have any right to question his doctors' management as a doctor, firstly because I am not a recognised medical practitioner here in Australia and secondly I am not in any way connected with the hospital or any hospital here in Sydney for that matter. But I reckon I have all the bloody right to question his doctors as a son who just happened to finish med school, residency training and who worked as a consultant before. I know I travelled oceans and hundreds of kilometres away from home but that doesn't mean I left my medical knowledge in Manila.

Last night, my father had an episode of severe difficulty of breathing and cyanosis of his lips. He was struggling to breathe and was gasping for air. They summoned a "PACE" call and medical registrars arrived to assess him. ABG's was done and chest x-ray was ordered as well. The registrar on duty was thinking of 3 things... a possible pulmonary embolism, lung congestion or a possible chest infection. Luckily he was started on antibiotics, again and was given diuretics to address the congestion. They can't give blood thinners fearing he might bleed. Good on them, at least they did something.

What's making me revolt like this is that his "team" of doctors who from the very start do not have any plans for him except to "palliate" him like a terminally ill cancer patient, do their rounds everyday and assure my sister that "he's OK" , "he's OK." How can a 76 year old patient, breathing in the upper 20's per minute, who has intercostal, subcostal, supraclavicular indrawings, fine crackles all over his lungs, occasional wheezes, be OK? Even a wardsman can eyeball that a patient breathing like that is NOT OK and mind you my father has been like that for three days before anything was done.

If this is the kind of medical practise here, I say it's crap! Baloney! I am not sour graping because I am not a doctor here. I am just venting out my frustrations as a son of a medically mismanaged father. My prayer is just for him to survive all of this and prove to a "team" of doctors that they should not falter easily, consider every aspect and treat the patient as a whole and not treat and manage laboratory results.

Enough of this ranting!

Companionable As Solitude

2010-06-18T22:15:00.002+10:00

Like a lighthouse keeper, I am trekking these steps towards the light chamber alone by myself at the moment. I have to flare up the lamp so I can illuminate the path which the others are journeying at present for them to see better in the darkest part of their voyage. I have to toughen up like a soldier patrolling the borders of Kabul in Afghanistan trusting only my reliable armaments and munitions. I have to be strong for the others to brave and endure the tremendous pain that they (and I) are suffering.

Life could be such a stinker sometimes, you just have to rely on HIM and yourself to weather all storms. I guess that is what viability is all about. I surrender everything to HIM, I always say that, although sometimes, I feel I don't have the smallest mustard seed I need to help me understand and fathom everything. Sometimes I really hate the knowledge I got from Med school, because of this my faith in HIM sometimes comes to a naught. Most, if not all, of the time, I envy my siblings who have so much faith and trust in HIM that they can sleep soundly at nights while I toss and turn worrying and thinking about everything that happened and might occur. I wish I am like them, I hate being a medicine man.

I experienced this before, when our mother got critically sick 14 years ago. I was the only one pessimistic about the whole dilemma. I hated myself when I gave up on her. I just do not want to go into the details, it's so repulsive. In retrospect, if they all gave up on her before, nobody would be holding my arms now as I write. That was a decision that I will regret for the rest of my freaking earth life! How I wish I didn't become a doctor.

Now that I and my family are going into the same ordeal we had 14 years ago, I have to condition myself to face the challenge that this life is giving me, alone, but with HIS guidance and blessings . I've learned so much from that horrible incident we had before with my mother. I pray that HE will give me peace of mind and grant me the tiniest faith I need and authentically surrender to HIM everything.

I continue to implore HIS mercy on me, us and our father.

Update On My Father's Condition

2010-06-10T19:25:00.003+10:00

Repeat CT scan done last Tuesday, the 8th of June revealed a new "stroke." His doctor was telling us it was a "big" bleed on the occipital lobe of the brain. His blood sugar is now shooting up and liver function tests and kidney function tests are all derranged. The family had a meeting with his doctor and his team and they laid all their cards to us. They have a meager of a plan for him. Better than nothing I suppose. We are just hoping for a big miracle to happen. Please continue to help us ask for mercy from Him.

May the good Lord bless him and keep him and minimise his sufferings. God bless my tatay.

Hoping For The Best For Our Tatay

2010-05-23T21:25:00.003+10:00

It's been a long time since I wrote something here, taking time off from writing can sometimes make one to get off track. I am really lost for words as I haven't pressed this keyboard, to write, for quite a while now. I find it hard to think up especially when there is really nothing to scribble about. I was hoping my next post has something good about it but I guess there isn't. I wasn't planning on blogging tonight but I just can't help but ask all of you out there to please join me and my family in offering intentions and prayers for our dearest father, Pete Hornedo.

Yesterday, Sunday, the 23rd of May, at around 5:30ish in the morning, my sister, Abel, heard a loud thump from one of the rooms adjacent to theirs, it sounded like a very huge object fell from a certain height. When they checked to see what was it, they saw my father sprawled on the floor. He was trying to get up but was to weak to do it. They immediately woke me up as I was sleeping downstairs with my mum and when I saw him, he was conscious but very agitated and confused, he was forcing his way up to sit. I told him to keep still as I was trying to put him on the "recovery position" so I can check his vitals. I noticed that he was not in his usual self, as he will always follow me and do whatever he is told. I examined his head, while trying to limit movement of his neck. I really had no idea what injuries he could have sustained from that fall. I had a notion that this was another stroke, having had so much histories and experiences of strokes in the family, I just couldn't leave a cerebro-vascular accident from my differentials or considering it as my initial impression. I also thought that it could be a hypoglycaemic episode as my father is a diabetic as well.

I told my siblings, we need to bring him to a hospital, so Heidi called 000 and asked for an ambulance which arrived a few minutes after the call. The paramedics checked his blood sugar which was OK so hypo or hyperglycaemia was ruled out. He was brought to Westmead Hospital and was eventually diagnosed to have a cerebral ischaemia on the left temporal lobe by CT scan. All throughout our stay in the ED, he was very agitated and confused. He was finally brought up to his room at around 5:00 in the afternoon and his sensorium was deteriorating.

Me and my family are appealing to you to please offer a short prayer for my father, we are all hoping he will recover from this ordeal. I know that it will be very hard for him as he had history of previous stroke before, but I still am keeping my hopes alive. May he survive this life threatening condition he is into at the moment. May GOD be with him all the way.

Again my sincerest gratitude for your prayers! God bless us all.

Friday

2010-02-26T21:58:00.002+11:00

I definitely had a crazy week. Whew! I'm sure am glad it's over. I don't want to look back... really there is no use crying over a dead horse! I sure did make up a sweat for every cent I earned today! It's a good thing I already primed myself that this will be a helluvah day at the Mater and it was indeed another frantic day, so busy! The good thing is, it made my shift fast, t'was over before I knew it, not a single dull moment for me today.

Well what more can I say? I really should not be complaining about the busyness of work. I mean, we come to our workplace to do our job and toil while being paid. Our company and our bosses expect that from us so we ought to do our crafts and stop making friends! We should just do what is expected from us and just cut the crap and stop the bull!

I am so tired and wasted. I just want to drop dead and wake up after a week. But alas! I can't sleep, I think I had caffeine overdose, I had too much java that my precious hands are shaking and my brain won't bloody stop functioning. Might as well put this in good use and write. Another sleepless night, I suppose. Too bad our chat room is empty. I think I am in for a fluky night! Dang! What good can I do tonight??? Maybe I should start counting sheep as early as now. It will take a while to reach seven hundred fourty eight thousand nine hundred and thirty two.

I just got to keep on saying... "Heaven on the horizon!" "Good stuff coming!" Thank you it's Friday!

Time To Give Up

2010-02-03T21:15:00.004+11:00

I am hoping you might know Richard Bach, he, being an American like you. In case you don't, he authored the 70's bestseller, Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions: The Adventures of the Reluctant Messiah. I am sure you already read both, if not one of these books. Again if for some reason or another, you weren't able to read any of them because you were busy with extra-curricular activities when you were in highschool, let me tell you that from one of those books, the famous quote... “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” was lifted.

I really do not know if I need to explain to you these words or not. Dude, they are so freaking simple and easy to understand that you can swallow them verbatim, take them as they are. No hidden meanings, no underlying implications and message. This quote is a no brainer and you do not need to burn even a few neurons to fathom the essence of it. Obviously the other person wanted to restore normalcy rationality and sanity in life, can't you get it? Somebody from your past bid you farewell and never came back and I reckon you have to accept and live with that fact. The person NEVER became yours, ever. Sure, you had your share of good times together but can you not dig it, those are passe already, those are things of the past and mind you we all should not live under the shadows of our past, be it good or not.

A true gentleman humbly accepts defeat. A true gentleman knows when to back off and let others have a normal, peaceful and quiet life. A true gentleman is not deceitful and treacherous, doesn't offer his shoulder to cry only to grab the opportunity to later on satisfy his lust for worldly things! That's not a mark of a true gentleman and I seriously believe you are way too far from being one, even if you die trying to be one. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot....

Your time is up, next victim please....

Secrets... Shoosh!

2010-01-28T22:14:00.002+11:00

Alright, maybe they're not...

I am a frustrated surgeon, turned paediatrician, turned full time phlebotomist!

I used to sing Beatles' songs before I fell in love with jazz (not "just" music) and R&B :)

I've been driving since I was 16 but it took me 42 years to finally buy my own "used" car!

I am a tech savvy but ever since I started earning on my own, became stingy and mingy.

I really despised the late Cardinal Sin because he mixed church and politics! (i hate the guy!)

I was a Thomasian Class 1991 but graduated a Fatimanian (is there such a word???)!

I once weighed close to 90 kgs before I realised enough is enough, now I am down to 74 ;).

I always take 3 pills for breakfast but sometimes I do abstain!

I wanted to insure my hands for a million bucks but I think they are worth more than that! ;)

I once tried break dancing and ended up with busted lips!

I just do not have a real talent! I think I am a master of none and it's true! :(

I think I am worst at public speaking and I always do not have something remarkable to talk about.

I can write, apparently, and at least I think I am a decent writer.

I need someone who believes in me and can give directions and focus in life (I'm happy, I finally met her) :)

I have a hard time eating fish but sometimes it is just selective. (Iove bangus!)

I was once a member of the "Youth for Democracy Movement" who campaigned for Marcos and Tolentino.

I was a regular Red Cross blood donor and signed up as an organ donor as well.

I am really glad I still have this blog where I can write what I can't say!

Enough secrets for now!!!

Whatever Will Be Will Be

2010-01-19T00:02:00.003+11:00

When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother what will I be... Here's what she said to me... Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see. Writing those words made me hum to the tune of the old country song, Que Sera Sera. These lines made me think about how mysterious and unpredictable life can be, makes me ponder about life's unsure issues. One question just popped in my mind... Do you reckon failures and successes are born out of sheer luck? They sometimes say "if you don't make things happen, things will happen to you." Sounds right and fair, isn't it?

I know that fate SOMETIMES decide, I remember I wrote something to that effect. Seriously, serendipity should not determine the outcome of our own lives. I believe that it is our choice that matters in the end and it is not chance that should influence our tomorrow. So much were written and said about the role of luck or fortune in people's lives. Shakespeare believed that our future depends on how we are going to shape it and not just by chance alone. He once said and I quote, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves," An old Filipino saying, "Nasa D'yos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa," holds true then and up to now.

But sometimes, we just can't help but surrender to the Divine providence. I know, not everybody will swallow that with ease. For many, it will be easier to bite, chew and swallow raw bitter melons than accept the fact that Someone up there had planned our lives way ahead of time. There will come a time in your life that you'll just say... "His will be done" and surrender everything to Him. For the time being, I just want to say, whatever will be, will be. I am just hoping for the best. I know it's not entirely acceptable but I will settle with that for now.

Que sera sera, what will be, will be.

Enough ranting, goodnight!

Thanks To This Blogsite, I Still Can Post What I Want

2010-01-16T18:57:00.002+11:00

I love this blogsite... Patronise my own!

Integrity

2010-01-07T16:57:00.002+11:00

So much for the Yuletide break, it's now business as usual. People are now back to work, businesses open, children return to schools. In the Philippines, election fever is in the air. A few more months and the reign of the worst administration in Philippine history will be over. Filipinos have endured so much... Time to change the leadership and replace the evil one at helm.

Many candidates are vying for the highest seat of the land. Some are qualified, some never really come close to even a mere resemblance of being a barangay chairman, still there are some who seem to come from looney bins straight to the elections commission filing their candidacies. What a pity... tsk tsk tsk.. When will our country get what it deserves? Frankly if I were in the Philippines, I will be thinking more than 10x whether I will cast my vote or not. In my opinion, among all the aspirants for presidency, nobody has the integrity to say, "I am the one."

Honesty, indeed, is such a lonely word... everyone is so untrue! I bet you can still recall those famous lines from Billy Joel's old song. That phrase is so accurate, I can vouch for that! I reckon almost all of mankind have something hidden in themselves, something that can tarnish their sense of moral uprightness, honesty and integrity. I am now beginning to wonder... is there really a person of integrity living in this world today? It seems that almost everybody is doing or had done something under somebody's noses.

My hat's off to the chosen few who in one way or another uphold their sense of loyalty, honesty and integrity. I know that only a handful roam the earth nowadays. I seriously wish that people will still change and come to realise that it is worth living honestly.

May the good Lord forgive the dishonest ones.

Foresight 2010

2010-01-01T12:01:00.002+11:00

I am pretty sure many will be blogging or had blogged already about how 2009 came to be. Most, if not all, will be thinking back in retrospect and heaps will be fascinated on how the previous year went by in a jiffy. Accolades will be given, kudos, written and tributes will be expressed. Still, some will be writing down their new year's resolution list (which I suitably call a list of "would be broken promises") and will be trying hard to do it. I commit myself to write about what I reckon this new year will be for me. I know it doesn't concern you at all but what the heck, I might as well rant.

Frankly I have so much expectations for '10. I seriously believe this is going to be my year and I am hoping that this "Tiger" will be good for me for 365 days! 10 is a good number to start, though a little late, it's way much better than never. I see myself starting a whole new chapter of my life this year, scary and unpredictable as it may seem, I am up and ready for the challenges that lie ahead. I am expecting to start a little family of my own, apart and away from the family who brought me up to this world. All I want to do is pack my bags, go to that unchartered place and forever live a life of love, peace, harmony and contentment.

I am also looking forward that this year will be good and kind to my sister, Abel. I am praying that she will soon triumph and emerge victorious in her battle against this dreadful cancer that took the happiness in her and our family. I am optimistic that with God's will, she will have a complete and total remission and will be free of this malignancy for good.

I am longing for a better and more comfortable life for my Nanay and Tatay, who of all people in this earth, deserve all the abundance, luxury, enjoyment, happiness and gratification that life can give. I am sure they will continue to live long, stay healthy and continue to be our source of strength and joy. I anticipate a superb year for all my siblings and their families. I look forward to see my nephews and niece grow another year wiser and smarter. I am hoping that all of them will be showered with good health and more wealth.

Lastly it is still my desire to see a better Philippines. I know it is close to impossible but I still wish the best for my homeland. May the least of the evils prevail in the elections. I also hope the whole world will recover from the difficult economic downfall it is experiencing at the moment.

Happy new year to you.

Resolution Or Irresolution?

2009-12-28T08:55:00.005+11:00

2009 is coming to an end. New year is just around the bush, hiding, ready to pop out any minute from now. Together with 2010 come heaps of resolutions, intentions, commitments and promises. People almost always try to fashion out ways to do or not to do things for a change, to make life easier and better. But do you honestly believe these new year's resolutions are being done at all?

My answer to that query is a resounding NO! I for one is guilty of this, not changing for the better. After a fit of holiday giddiness, I am pretty sure that all of these resolutions and plans will just end up in the rubbish bin. Funny how people still take time to make a list of things they want to change for the year ahead... such a waste of time, effort and resources. Why not for a change, forget these new year's resolution thing and move along with our own lives, see how it goes. Let us spare ourselves with all of these disappointments and frustrations! Expect less... that's the way it should be.

By the way the opposite of resolution according to the thesaurus is "weakness." A fitting word for the human race. Aren't we all lame???

Have a good new year y'all.

Loneliness Bug

2009-12-18T19:53:00.004+11:00

Whew! Here I go again... Whinging if you might say, but hey, today really is a bloody frantic day at work. Everybody and everything needs to be done before the Christmas break. Believe it or not, I started at half past 12 and it's nearly 8ish before I got the chance to sit and rest. Whoa! What a day this really is. Earlier, before I can even log-on and put my stuff away, I was immediately plagued by handovers and endorsements, the main phone, which is a familiar accessory on my waist didn't stop ringing. It really was ridiculous, really crazy if I may add.

Now, I feel so tired and lonely... Looks like I literally consumed all my adrenaline. There's no more energy left in me anymore, hence another one of my rants! I cant help but look back on my past life back home, when I used to be on top of everything. Frustrating! This freaking loneliness bug is on my tail and is catching up quite fast. I hate this feeling! Bugger!

How I wish this haunting feeling will go away. I don't want to be sad come Christmas day. I don't want to wear a frowning mask at home and at work. Please help me drive this crazy feeling away.

I am so lost!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2009-12-17T23:41:00.002+11:00

Depth Of Field

2009-12-06T22:05:00.001+11:00

Some shots from my new Sigma lens...

Asian Pride

2009-11-16T22:01:00.004+11:00

I know that much has been said and written about the Manny Pacquiao, Miguel Cotto bout. I know this post will be so redundant because all the congratulatory remarks and accolades have been expressed and done by everybody. Pardon me, I know that this post is a superfluity already but I really can't help but be vocal to impart how proud I am to belong to the Pacman's race. Not only does he represent the entire Filipino race but the whole Asian race as well.

We truly are world class! Thanks to you Manny! You taught them a lesson or two on how to give respect to the brown race.

Mabuhay ka MANNY PACQUIAO! Kudos to you! Well done, mate!

What Do You Do At Sunset?

2009-11-08T19:33:00.003+11:00

As the sun sets in the west, how many of us reflect on the day which is about to be covered by the dusking skies? Most if not all of us will just chalk it up as another day gone by, another finished page about to be turned over. Many come home to be with their families and to have a well deserved rest. Some continue to enjoy life through the night not mindful of the next day's challenges and debacles. A minority will be just starting their day, perennially working the grave yard shifts.

What really is behind the sunset? Aside from the fading of the daylight in the skies, I believe that there is more to sunset other than the disappearance of the sun. I reckon sunset is a very lovely way used by God to remind us all of the limited period of time we have on this earth. He wants us to remember the state of us all being subjected to death and that we are all mortals after all. For me, sunset connotes a period of decline in our life, physically, emotionally and mentally as well. Sunset reminds me of the inevitable end. Sunset is a time to be thankful to Him for the many blessings received during the day. A time to be conscious of all the things said and done. A time of reflection, serious thinking and consideration. A time to patch up all differences, disagreements and disputes. A time to look back, remember, cherish good experiences, forget and learn from bad ones. A time to pray and give praises to Him.

What do you really do during sunsets? The next time you see one, please be thankful to God for His goodness to you and to all of mankind. Be reminded of the borrowed time we have and that we have to use it wisely and meaningfully. Be mindful of all the people around us especially the ones we love and cherish. Be reminded to say I LOVE YOU.

Back To The Hospital

2009-11-04T21:13:00.002+11:00

Abel was confined at Westmead Hospital again. She was scheduled to undergo another course of chemotherapy prior to her bone marrow transplant on the 14th. This will be the last of the treatment she will be receiving for her AML. So far her full blood picture is within normal limits and she's still in remission. We are all praying for her full recovery.

Again, I am appealing to all of you out there reading this post to please include her in your prayers. In behalf of her and our whole family, our sincerest gratitude. May God have mercy on us all.

Paradoxical

2009-10-02T20:42:00.003+10:00

While punishing myself on the treadmill earlier, I thought of the very old paradox about the immovable object and the unstoppable force. It gave me an idea of a topic to expound on. Something to write about and make my blogsite move. A statement that indeed draws a senseless conclusion, no matter how sound or how sane your reasoning is. A phrase so contradicting that it will make your balls ache trying to decipher or interpret it.

There was once a gun store owner selling armour piercing bullets and bullet proof vests. When asked how good the bullets are, the owner said that the bullets can pierce through anything and when asked how good the vests are he replied that the vests can defend any gunshot attacks. Then when asked what will happen if his armour piercing bullets were to be used against his vests, the owner could not give a good answer. Made him think and stopped claiming that his bullets can pierce everything and his vests can protect anyone from any gunshot attacks.

Sometimes this paradox happens in reality, in our very own lives. What really will happen when an unstoppable force finally meets an immovable object? Disaster, adversity, failure and tragedy I suppose. Again it all boils down to one catastrophic and destructive word which rules and dominates the whole of mankind, PRIDE. Not the group of lions forming a social unit, the pride that I am talking about is related to the consciousness of one's own excellence and dignity. Unless each and everyone of us learn how to swallow our pride and be open to opinions and suggestions of others, nothing good will ever happen in this earth. Since the time of Adam and Eve and up to now, we all learned and witnessed one way or another how a simple clinging to one's pride can do horrific consequences.

To end this senseless post, may I quote an old adage, PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL.

I rest my case... Back to the treadmill and burn more calories!

Email For IV Diamond Batch '83

2009-10-02T17:22:00.002+10:00

Hello there my dear friends!

It's nice to hear from all of you again, yun nga lang not in a very good time because of the circumstances that happened recently to the Philippines. i join hands with all of in prayers... I know that praying is the most important thing that we could offer them, for now.

As our country suffer from a horrendous tragedy, our family here in Sydney is still weathering a great storm... my sister, Abel is still battling a very dreadful malignancy, she's not yet out of the woods. She is to undergo another course of chemo and Stem-cell transplant come November. I am also appealing to all of you to continue to offer prayers for her. I know there is strength in numbers, kapag marami tayong magdadasal, mas malakas at maugong ang dating nito sa KANYA. My sincerest gratitude in advance.

I hope GOD will bless the Philippines and each and everyone of us.

Regards to all!

Boy

Circumstances And My Tomorrow

2009-09-17T19:45:00.002+10:00

It's been a while, I know. I don't want to fabricate alibis to cover my unproductiveness. I can't think of an acceptable excuse to cloak my worthlessness. Fact of the matter is that I became so lazy thinking of something to write about to update this weblog of mine. It seems that my dull, routine and monotonous existence reached its plateau already. No more exciting things to write. No more new happenings and events to tell. No more incidents and experiences to share. Nothing... Nada... Nought... Nil... Zero... Zilch!

I can't complain much, I mean, I know that I should be the one controlling my destiny, my future, my life, but now I think circumstances do. I admit I should dictate how circumstances will work towards my destiny but at the moment its the other way around. I anticipated that sooner or later this will happen to me and to us and now it looks like it is becoming a reality. Makes me think I am inept, useless and futile. I know deep in my heart I am not. I wish I could do something but my hands seem to be tied, my legs bound, my lips silenced and my brain forced to a grinding halt.

I am just hoping for the best, fingers crossed. I hope I can get out of this dilemma soon. At the moment, only time can tell about the outcome. Nobody can envision what really is there for me and for us tomorrow. Faith in Him and reassuring words from her are the only armaments I have. I know in the end, things will still work out well for me and for us. Good will triumph over evil and everyone will live happily ever after.

I rest my case...

Why Is It Always Like This?

2009-09-14T02:16:00.001+10:00

The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

Picnic Day

2009-08-17T11:04:00.001+10:00

I took and finished the Australian Citizenship exam today. After a few days of half-hazard review, finally it's over. Now I can apply for Aussie citizenship and hopefully get a blue passport so I can go to visit Nen in LA. Blue is better than green to some freaking people. Now they can't deny me entry if I have blue!

It's a good thing I was granted my picnic day, today. At least I can relax after a whole week of work. I just want to enjoy this day. No cleaning of our car, no house chores, no washing of dishes, no cooking, no laundry... i'll just have fun.

Right now I am here at Abel's. I wasn't able to see her since Friday so I thought I'd pay her a visit. I am glad she is doing OK. Thank God! Oh well, enough said for the day...

Ciao!

ZZZZZZzzzzzz, I Hope

2009-08-15T00:38:00.003+10:00

It is nearly half past one and I am having another one of those sleepless nights. I can't doze off even if my whole body wants to rest, this is so annoying and to think I have to report early for work later as I will be pitching in for my colleague, Anjila.

I just had a chat with my sister, Heidi. She went online while inside a coffee shop near their place in Salcedo Village. She got bored waiting for Rommie so she decided to go out. It's good to see and catch up with her again.

Earlier I was talking to Nen. She and the kids will be driving to Vegas later today. I hope they will have a safe trip. I will miss her a lot because they will be staying there for 3 days and 2 nights. Our chat room will be empty, dang!

As I write, Nanay is holding on to my arm, as usual. She is peacefully sleeping, snoring at times. Sometimes I envy her, she doesn't have any problem whatsoever. I wish I could sleep soundly like what she is doing at the moment. After writing this post, I probably will just stare at her the whole night hoping that her sleep will become contagious and get into me.

I am still waiting for you, Sleep Fairy! Where the heck are you by the way?

Anyone Still Intersted?

2009-07-27T23:21:00.003+10:00

It is already quarter past 12 midnight here, I still can't sleep, probably because the level of caffeine in my system is still at its peak. I was trying to bore myself to imbibe sleep so I thought of reading GMA's last State of the Nation Address. I haven't reached one fourth of the "mile long" speech prepared by God knows who and I got so annoyed I stopped reading it. I thought whingeing about it would be a better alternative.

From what I've read, she is commending herself for steering the country to calm waters, weathering the storm of the global economic crisis. Lauding oneself is not a good thing to do. It's plain and simple bu11$h!t! I reckon it's the Filipinos' resiliency that should be credited not her and her leadership. Please stop using Cory's name, which by the way she did at the beginning of the SONA, hoping to draw sympathy from the supporters of the original People Power's choice. The speech was boycotted by lawmakers, senators and congressmen alike, obviously fed up with lies and deceit. Most of all, majority of Filipinos probably did not care at all anymore.

The whole nation is already numb madame. Please get it over and done with and just leave. We already had enough. I guess you and all your henchmen are already full up to the brim. Please spare some for the poor Filipino nation. May God bless the Philippines.

Barrington Tops

2009-07-15T16:30:00.003+10:00

Last week, my wifey, Nen visited me and my family here in Sydney. She took time off from work and her busy schedule with the kids just to be with me. We spent quality time together though it was so limited. We went to Barrington Tops and stayed at the Riverwood Downs Mountain Resort. It was a perfect getaway, very remote, very serene and far away from all the hassle and bustle of daily living.

So much memories we had that it was so painful when she left for home. Looking at the brighter side of it, at least we still have something to look forward to... getting together again. Missing each other so much is good in a way because you know that you are still so much in love with each other.

To my dearest Nen, if by any chance you get to read this post, thanks heaps for all the loving and caring you are giving and showing me. I know you deserve more than this, I'll make it up to you when the time comes. I will be waiting for your next trip to Sydney.

Termite

2009-07-05T13:15:00.003+10:00

I was shot in the chest twice, kicked on the face and left shivering in the cold dark night for dead. The scene was so horrible, I was gasping for air as if it was my last. Earlier, my wife and I were hearing Sunday mass. I don't know how but it seems that she was singing amongst the choir and at the same time besides me sitting on one of the front pews. She looked at her back and saw this person staring at us with dagger looks! She whispered to me that it was somebody in her past. I slowly turned my head towards the direction of the person to have a look. It seems that the person was trying to tell me to watch out.

The scene was changed, suddenly we are inside our bedroom getting ready to sleep. She was wearing my long-sleeved shirt and I was wearing my pajamas and white t-shirt. I remember how good looking she was in my shirt. The mood was so romantic and we were hugging and kissing when suddenly our door bell rang. I got up, went outside the room and got to the door. When I opened it, the person I saw in the church was standing on our porch with a gun aimed directly at me. I greeted "good evening, what can I do for you." Without uttering a word, the person fired the gun hitting me on the chest and as I was slumped on the floor bleeding, I felt a kick on my face. I was shivering and gasping for breath. The night was so cold or maybe it is hypovolaemia setting in on me.

I suddenly woke up, I was freezing! I didn't have any blanket on, I remember I gave mine to my mother who was sleeping besides me. I do not know how Sigmund Freud will interpret this but it was one helluvah nightmare. Scary it may seem but I am ready for anything that can happen. If this is the price I have to pay, bring it on!

Alone

2009-06-24T22:00:00.003+10:00

For the past 2 weeks Nanay, Tatay and the rest of my siblings have been sleeping over at Abel's house and most of the time I stay in Chelsea by myself, alone in the coldness of winter. Once again I am lying on my bed staring at my notebook's monitor and my ears fixated at the ticking of our clock. As my mind wonder I realise how lonely, bland and empty life could be being alone.

Tonight is one of those "home alone" nights and my ever cumbersome IBS is at it again. Attacking me like hell. I am wincing in pain and I have nobody here to even help me boil water for the warm water bottle. I have to do it myself otherwise I could suffer an infarction of the heart if this pain persists. Bugger! I'll could expire here anytime without being noticed.

It seems like yesterday when I was basking in the love and attention of my family and friends. I was once a center of attraction. I had a fantastic life with a good profession. Life back then was very fulfilling, happy and fun. Never had I experienced being alone before.

Now that the wheel of fortune had turned and my life seems to be in its lowliest part, I know I have to tackle life unaided, unaccompanied and alone by myself. Frustrating as it may be, I already resign the fact that I will be like this until final judgment arrives. As the clock continues to tick my end is coming nearer and nearer. I pray that He would let me fade slowly and alone through the winter night.

How Is It Like To Be?

2009-06-21T14:20:00.004+10:00

What is it like being a father? How does it feel being the head of the family, taking care of and providing for your kids and wife? How does it feel taking your children to the pool for a swim or playing catch with them? What is it like driving them to school, helping them with their homeworks and school projects? How does it feel cooking for them and enjoying sharing meals with them? Questions I am sure millions of fathers all around the world could answer.

I still believe that someday, somehow I could answer those questions as well. Despite my advanced age and the predicament I am in to right now, I know that God still has a plan for me. I still am hoping I will have a child of my own. I just do not know if I could be a good father. It's scary starting late... I might not live to see him or her become a adult to have a family of his or her own. I wish I could...

To all fathers, Happy Father's Day! My hat's off to all of you fathers out there. A pat on the back for a job well done!

Love Equals Hurt

2009-06-15T22:46:00.004+10:00

We all fell in love at some point in our lives and for sure our feelings were hurt one way or the other sometimes by the ones we love or sometimes by the act of loving itself. Does love really equates to suffering? Do we really need to get hurt when we are in love? Is the pain and suffering really inevitable?

Love has so many definitions and meanings but based on all I've read and as far as my stock knowledge is concerned, there is no single article or book that defines love as something unpleasant, unlikable or distasteful. From all of my readings, love is described in a pleasant and good way.

I am thinking of explanations, reasons why we hurt the ones we love... Could it be that sometimes we are so frustrated with ourselves that we think we do not deserve anything good and by hurting the ones we love, we are hurting ourselves in effect? Could it be that we think of our love ones as good things and unconsciously try to destroy the good things in our lives so as to punish ourselves?

Or could it be that sometimes we tend to hate the ones we love because they know our weaknesses and we can't hide it from them? Could it be that the person we project to other people is being set aside and the things we hide surface?

Or could it be that the ones we love have the guts to be honest and tell us the truth? And we know that sometimes truth hurts and we tend to react intensely. Or could it be that sometimes we expect too much from them that when they fail to meet our expectations, we feel disappointed and thus we want them to regret.

Or could it be that sometimes the ones we love have attitudes, behaviors and characteristics that annoy us and we know we could never change them, sometimes we think of them as blessings but I am sure there are times we think of them as nuisances.

Or could it be that sometimes we are being misunderstood by them? Could it be that we want them to see things the way we see them because we think it is the right one? And if they don't we feel bad about it. Or could it be the other way around... we misunderstand them because we are not willing to comprehend, appreciate and recognise them at all.

Or could it be that we hurt them so as to comfort them in a later time? We feel that we have every right to hurt them because we love them and we will make up for it later.
Or could it be that we trust them so much that we feel they will not stop loving us no matter what we do? Could it be that we feel it is alright to take our frustrations on them and feel secure because we think there will be no consequences when we do that?

Honestly i really do not know the reason or reasons why we do hurt the ones we love. These are just my two cents worth. It could be right, it could be wrong. I could only think of things to justify it. What do you reckon?

Saving Graces

2009-06-13T10:01:00.008+10:00

Based on the number of misses I had and the heaps of butterfly needles I used, I'd say that I had a rough and bad day, yesterday. Well, it all started the night before yesterday, I had another bout of high blood pressure and I felt weak and had a splitting headache the whole night until the next morning when I woke up. Poor patients, they had to suffer for my inefficiency. Good thing all my patients yesterday were kind and understanding otherwise I really will be in deep shit.

What saved the day for me was that I met and talked to 3 good Australians. Mrs. D, a 74 year old lady from Mosman mistook me for a South American. We had an extensive talk about how she analyses faces because she used to paint portraits. Unfortunately she was wrong when she scrutinized mine. I told her that I am always mistaken for being a South American and she told me that it is because of my nose, eyes and cheeks. I had fun chatting with her.

Two rooms from Mrs. D's is Mrs. DeV's. When I entered her room she was crying because she was in pain and was very frustrated with her present state. I immediately handed her a facial tissue paper and held her hand. I told her that everything will be alright and what she was experiencing was only temporary. We talked about a lot of things including my mother. She told me that I have sure a place in heaven because according to her I am a good man. Her words will never be forgotten.

Up on the Cardiology Ward, I did blood cultures for Mr. F. He was a very jolly 67 year old man. He loves motorbikes and big cars. He told me to enjoy life like him. He gave me 2 funny quotes and I want to share them with you. "Treat every stressful situation like a dog, if you can eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away." "Edge is not the limit it is only the starting point." He was so hilarious!

People like these make the world go round. I wish them well and I hope to see them in a better situation. I hope their tribes increase. You made my day!

The War Still Remains

2009-06-01T21:46:00.003+10:00

Tomorrow at 9am, Abel will be having her repeat BMA biopsy at Westmead. We are hoping and praying that the results will be alright. Aside from some episodes of insomnia, she is doing just great. Her latest full blood count showed a very promising result and her doctor was very happy about it. Presently she is asymptomatic and is in good state of health and I hope it will remain that way until she finishes 2 more consolidation chemotherapy cycles.

The second cycle of chemotherapy will be coming soon and will be dependent on the bone marrow biopsy result. Fingers crossed, the dosage will not be as high as the induction course. We will be eagerly waiting for the results of the biopsy. We are also looking forward to the day that our sister will be pronounced "cancer-free." We are all optimistic that she will eventually win this war against this horrific disease.

One battle won but the war still continues... We are all hanging on! Please continue to offer prayers for her and for all cancer patients around the globe. Ta!

A New Smile

2009-05-25T21:33:00.002+10:00

I'm allowed to wake up a bit late on Mondays because my work doesn't start till 12 noon. Today, I woke up early because I have to go to Westmead Hospital to have my blood extracted for tissue typing. The nurse in charge of the stem cell transplant comes only on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Monday is my only chance. Abigail, Eric and Heidi already had their samples of blood taken weeks ago. I was the only one left. All four of us, siblings of Abel, are the prime candidates for donating our bone marrow aspirates for Abel's future stem cell transplant. Unfortunately, Eric's and Abigail's were not a match for Abel. I hope Heidi's or mine's matches.

When I arrived in Abel's room, I saw her face lighten up for the first time since ages ago. It was because her doctors already made their morning rounds and she was allowed to be discharged. She was so excited she packed her things straight away. What a lovely sight! I will not forget that smile on her face. She was so glad. Her WBC started to differentiate already. Neutrophils were already present in her smear and that was good enough for her doctors. If all will turn out well, she will be having another bone marrow biopsy in 2 weeks time and her second round of chemotherapy soon after.

It's good to see her smile again! The best thing that I saw today! I hope all of you out there reading this post will not cease to PRAY for her. Please include her in your daily prayers just like what we are doing. We are still hoping and expecting for the best, in Jesus' name!

My appreciation...

Weaknesses And Strengths

2009-05-20T21:31:00.003+10:00

I am a Type A personality. I used to be a doctor once and my strength is making decisions. I admit I am a dominant and decisive person. I don't find any difficulty in decision making, be it good or be it bad. Whenever I decide, I always stand by it. Sometimes other people would say that I am often wrong but never doubtful. I guess that's pretty much who I am and that is my strongest trait.

I also know I have my own weaknesses as well. I tend to please other people and I always do what they want me to do. Bloody hell, come to think of it, I even make tea for my boss! I know I should stop worrying about pleasing other people and I should start doing what I think is best for me and be honest about it. This is my life and I have to make the most out of it!

It was once said that "worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." I admit I worry a lot and I think that is robbing me of my confidence and strength! Now I realise that things become overwhelming whenever I am living in anxiety. Maybe its about time for me to slow down, relax and go with the flow of life.

I've done a lot of thinking, thanks to my non-satiable brain. I really have to do something about this inner conflict of mine which is slowly but surely eating up my securities. I should hone more on my strengths and do something about my weaknesses and conquer all my fears.

A new day will soon come!

Of Mojos, Confidence and Precariousness

2009-05-19T20:47:00.005+10:00

This post is so predictable, you probably saw it coming. Obviously another whinge, another whine, another venting of frustration and despair. This dilemma started from the day I migrated to this foreign continent. It seems that I used up all of my allure, my charm, my charisma, my pizzazz. Nothing's left in my arsenal now. I feel like a low-down son of a gun, so insecure, so vague, vulnerable at times.

I know I am one of the dominant class, I maybe timid and quiet most of the time but I know I am the go getting kind of a person. I used to be "the boss," the one in charge. I used to be on top of the totem pole most of the time, a higher form of animal so to say. But now things are different. I feel I am a second class citizen here. I was sucked up into life's daily ebb and flow here, so predictable, so routine. "I lost my mojo" here. And now that I feel so lowly of myself I sometimes do not know who I am anymore, what to act, what to say.

I know I have to get over this, myself. I have to solve this problem alone and fast. So many things going into my mind and I have to face and resolve each and every one of these worries. It just doesn't show sometimes but the truth of the matter is, I am carrying a heavy load as of the moment. The last thing I need now probably is an insult to compound this hurt.

I thought I got over this a long time ago, I guess there are still a few hangovers looming around. In time I am sure things will be back in order. When? That's for me to tell.

Haircut

2009-05-17T14:27:00.003+10:00

Abel is losing her hair very fast, a very common side effect of the chemotherapy she had. She decided to have a haircut today so Eric and I went there after lunch to cut her hair. I brought my camera to document the moments. It's a good thing she was "game" during the photoshoot.

On our way to her room, we met Ate Chit and Kuya Soty at the foyer. They were there to visit Abel as well. We prayed the Divine Mercy novena first then haircut time afterwards. Her platelet count is very low today and she's having blood in her stools. I think they will transfuse platelets today. Other than that, she seems to be alright.

In Jesus' name she will overcome this ordeal. We are all counting on that. Let's keep on praying.

Off Chemo

2009-05-15T19:57:00.003+10:00

I just arrived home, I went straight to Westmead Hospital to visit Abel. She's in high spirit today although you can see that she's very weak and tired. Yesterday she was having abdominal pain and bloating. I attribute this to hyperacidity because she is still maintained on a low dose dexamethasone.

I told her to ambulate more even inside her room because prolonged recumbency will cause her bowel to become hypoactive. Today is the 4th day off chemotherapy. Doctors are giving her bone marrow ample time to recover as her blood cells are close to nil. She is very vulnerable to infection at this stage.

Still I am appealing to all of you reading this post. Please include my sister, Abel and all cancer sufferers around the world, in your prayers. Again my sincerest appreciation to all of you.

Prayers can move mountains and I know with your help we can effect a big difference. I continue to have faith...

Roller Coaster Ride

2009-05-13T18:22:00.002+10:00

I'm glad last week was already over. It was a long and slow week full of dramas and emotions. So much had happened during the past week. Abel started her chemotherapy last Monday, the 4th. She experienced all the grimness of chemotherapy. She was literally knocked down but fortunately not out. Nen had her problems of her own too and I couldn't do much to help. It was so frustrating for me. I had another episode of hypertension last Thursday and my blood pressure sky rocketed up to the heavens. It's a good thing I didn't had stroke but I already experienced numbness of my arms and legs.

Indeed life as they say, is like a roller coaster ride. It is so mysterious you'll never know what lies on the horizon, what is stored for tomorrow. I sure am glad that I was able to be of service to my family and to other people. I am glad I was able to touch other people's lives and made them happy. At least I will be remembered in a pleasant way.

Let us all continue to hope, have faith and most of all love.

For Nanay

2009-05-10T14:55:00.006+10:00

Cheers to my dearest Nanay whom I love so much! You deserve all the accolades that we can give, you are the best this earth can ever produce. It is my privilege to be one of your children. I am nothing without you and my siblings will not be here as well if it wasn't for you. In behalf of all of us, thank you very much!

Nanay, I will continue to take care of you up to the best of my capabilities. I know there are times I take you for granted, my apologies for that. Please forgive me when the time comes that I will be leaving you for good, I really do not know when. When that time comes, please do not think that I love you less, it's just that I love somebody more and I have to be with her. I will never ever get you out of my mind, I'll do that.

I always pray for your health. May He lighten up your burden and physical difficulties. May He give you more years for you to see another grandchild. I love you very much my dearest Nanay. May God bless you. Happy Mother's Day.

Mabuhay ka, Nanay!

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T11:51:00.002+10:00

I got this from a friend's email. I just want to share it with you...

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, "Mum."

Loony Tunes

2009-05-10T01:43:00.004+10:00

I have a question for you... How would you react if somebody thinks you are crazy? What would you think if somebody doesn't want his or her loved ones near you because he or she thinks that you'll scare the hell out of them? Whoa! That's something isn't it?

Most would probably get infuriated. Others might just laugh out loud. Still a few would contest it and try to explain things. So many responses to a particular situation. Personally, I will prove to everybody that I am not. I know that the burden of proving that rests on me but I won't mind, I will do anything just to be have a clean bill of mental health. I will subject myself to any mental status examination by any "sane" psychiatrist, anytime, anywhere. I know myself more than anybody in this universe and I can challenge anyone who questions my sanity.

So in case somebody thinks you are a sicko and you honestly believe you are not, go with that person to a respectable mental doctor and let him check you. Who knows you might discover that the doctor examining you is the one who is crazy. It's hard to be branded as one, isn't it?

Makes me go crazy! HAHAHAHA

Updates On Abel

2009-05-04T22:07:00.002+10:00

It's been nearly a week now since my sister, Abel was confined at Westmead Hospital. It's a struggle for her and for us, I can see and feel it in each and every one of us. But I can also see her trying her very best to fight back and win this ordeal. That alone is more than enough for us to hope for the best.

Tuesday last week, the 28th of April, bone marrow biopsy was done after which she was allowed to go home. She went back to the hospital on the 30th, Thursday, due to a scheduled appointment with Dr. Benson, her attending Hematologist-Oncologist. The good doctor confirmed the initial impression of the doctors in the States, Abel was indeed suffering from Acute Myelogenous Leukaemia. However Dr. Benson did not disclose the subtype, they were told that the type of AML that Abel has was not the most aggressive neither the least. Her's was in the middle of the "totem pole" so to speak. There were no abnormal chromosomes noted. Treatment plans were laid down and she was enrolled to a research study about the effect of a certain drug to Mucositis during chemotherapy. That same day, the Hickman's catheter was placed on her chest. Due to a low platelet count, blood oozed from the incision site so the doctors decided not to let her go home and she was admitted at the Women's Health Ward as there are still no vacant room in the Hema-Onco Ward.

Friday, she was transferred to C5, Hematology-Oncology Ward. She was experiencing some soreness on her throat but physical examination of her throat just showed congestion of the tonsillopharyngeal wall. She was in high spirits at the time and I can see that she was trying her best to make herself strong. We were all there but Jil wasn't allowed to go inside the ward so Abel went outside the waiting area to see Jil. We all prayed the rosary there.

Saturday was uneventful, Kuya Soty, Ate Chit, Dra. Zonit Roland, Dra. Bebs, Jessie, and Digs visited her. Nen sent flowers and fruits as well. Sunday morning, Abel experienced dizziness and weakness, her hemoglobin was down to the low 70's. She was unable to eat but still she tried her best to have a bite. Late in the afternoon packed red cells were transfused. It breaks my heart to see Abel talking to her one and only Jil. I can't help but wipe away my tears, such a very sad sight.

Today, I wasn't able to visit her because I have work until 8:30 p.m. but I gave her a ring earlier, she told me she felt better after the transfusion. Tomorrow will be the first day of the series of chemotherapy she will be undergoing. We are all hoping for the best and I am appealing to all of you to please include my sister, Abel, in your prayers. That's all she needs right now.

My sincerest appreciation to all of you. May GOD bless us all.

Our Family's Greatest Challenge

2009-04-27T21:53:00.003+10:00

While on overseas tour of work in Manila last month, My sister, Abel had a serious case of periodontal infection. She suffered a lot of pain and wasn't able to eat and sleep well because of it. She was treated by a Periodontist who drained the abscess. Her condition improved upon her return here in Sydney.

Two days after her return, she and her family were on their way to San Francisco for a scheduled vacation. On the second day of her stay in the States, she called me complaining of slight fever occurring mostly at bedtime, this was accompanied by slight colds and recurrence of the gum problem. I attributed the fever and colds to a viral infection of the upper respiratory tract and just told her to rest and take analgesics on a "pro re nata" basis.

The fever persisted until finally on her last week of stay in California, she was experiencing chest pains and difficulty of breathing. I told her to see a doctor to rule out the possibility of other disease entities. She was subsequently confined in one of the private hospital in Antioch. Workups were done including a full blood count. Her initial WBC was 27 and on the second day it went up to 32. She was referred to a hematologist who reviewed her peripheral smear. Blast cells were found and she was diagnosed to have Leukaemia.

We were all shocked with the news. I was in the Philippines at that time. My first reaction was, no! it can't be, they must be wrong. So I advised them to go back immediately to Sydney as I was on my way back here as well. I told her not to think of the diagnosis because a bone marrow biopsy is not yet done.

Tomorrow she is scheduled to be admitted at Westmead Hospital for a complete workup, including the bone marrow aspiration biopsy. The initial diagnosis of Leukaemia will be established tomorrow. We are all facing a serious battle here, a battle of survival from a very dangerous illness. I know that with God's help and everybody's prayers, my sister, Abel will triumph against this dreadful disease.

Once again our family is faced with a very difficult challenge. A problem, I know we can carry all together. Please join me and my family in asking for help from the Almighty. I know He is good and kind and He will extend to us once again the blessings He bestowed on us when my mother was on a very serious condition.

Please pray for Abel...

My Life In Writing

2009-04-06T23:13:00.010+10:00

It's been a while since I last contributed to the Blog Rounds. Accept my sincerest apologies. Life's a lot different when you are abroad and I'm sure many can attest to that. I also would like to say thank you to the moderator of this week's blog rounds for inviting me again to participate. Cheers to you Ligaya! I'm sure you'll do well.

My life became an open book, well at least some part of it, ever since I started blogging. If you'll read some of my entries here, you'll surely get to know me well as a person.

I hail from a province of poets and beautiful lasses, Bulacan. Malolos is my hometown and I live near the church at the back of your 10 peso bill. I am half Ivatan, half Bulakenyo. I'm the 3rd among 5 siblings. Presently I am already based here in Sydney and I don't work as a doctor anymore. I was once a Pediatrician and used to have a meager private practice in Pulilan. I am still single but currently in a very serious relationship.

Nobody influenced me to write. It's just that I can easily communicate and express myself through writing rather than conversing. If there is one book that I will recommend you guys to read, it's Og Mandino's "The Gift Of Acabar." He has a simple "life instruction" there in the "Credenda." I usually blog hop when I have the time. Sometimes it's worthwhile reading other peoples ideas and thoughts. Of the many entries I have in my weblog, these are some of my favorites...

Inner Fear
Doctors Are Human After All
Grow Old
The Story Of Nan Cheng
How I Accidentally Became A Pediatrician
Enjoy Your Parents
and last but definitely not the least, Vivid.

Thanks once again for the invite! Cheers!

Grow Old

2009-04-01T19:56:00.005+11:00

It seems like yesterday when we were celebrating the first day of 2009. Well, today is already April Fool's day and nobody seems to have noticed it. Time is on its supersonic mode, like a McLaren-Mercedes MP4-24 car zooming full speed on 6th gear. It is literally flying, like an F-18 Hornet at mach 1.8... very fast indeed!

At the rate at which the earth is rotating in its axis, it won't take long for us to grow with age. It's a bit scary to think that there are so much things to do with so little time. Life is indeed very short. Might as well do things in order now than ending up with regrets of not doing them at all. It's terrifying to think that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow I will be biting the dust already because of old age because I know for a fact that our generation is next in line.

For now let us all live our lives meaningfully to the fullest. Play fair, be good neighbors and friends so that when its time to go to the other side, we'll be remembered pleasantly. Let us limit our carbon footprints and make this planet a better place to live in for the future generations to come.

Say I love you more often...

Enjoy life, what's left of it.

Tweak My Brain

2009-03-28T00:08:00.003+11:00

It's already quarter past 12 here and I am still wide awake. My body wants to sleep but my mind won't. How can I override this freaking brain of mine so can I turn it off? I don't know what to do anymore. I need to rest as I have work later today. This is not right anymore, how do you expect me to work and function well when my mind is messing up my whole system!

8 more days like this and it's the looney bin for me...

2 down, 8 to go!

Nanay's 72nd

2009-03-22T17:24:00.003+11:00

Nanay celebrated her birthday last Saturday. The whole family (minus Abel, Heidi and Nen, who are all overseas) went to Ku Ring Gai Chase National Park in Bobbin Head. The kids had so much fun boating and catching crabs. We also did some bush walking and most especially we indulged on some great food!

Happy Birthday dearest NANAY, we hope for many more birthdays for you to come!

Life Is A Big Wait

2009-03-13T22:19:00.002+11:00

Come to think of it, life is a long bloody wait...

Waiting for your alarm clock to go off to wake you up at 5am.
Waiting for the microwave oven to turn off so you can get your mum's food and feed her.
Waiting for the hot water to come out of the shower head.
Waiting for the 6am news by Renee Smith at 106.5 FM.
Waiting for the traffic to clear up so you can cross the Old Northern Road.
Waiting for the green light at North Rocks Road.
Waiting for parking space at Crow's Nest.
Waiting for quarter to 7 so you can start walking towards the Mater.
Waiting for the kettle to boil so you can have coffee and take your medications before you start working.
Waiting for 7am so you can commence work.
Waiting for the lift to open so you can go to Level 1.
Waiting for the patient to finish his brekkie so you can collect blood.
Waiting for 9am so you can have morning tea.
Waiting for calls so you can go up to the wards again to collect blood.
Waiting for 11 am so you can do your second morning rounds.
Waiting for lunch time so you can have lunch with your housekeeping staff friends.
Waiting for 3pm so you can fetch your niece at Kirribilli.
Waiting for dinner time.
Waiting for your mum's diaper to get soaked so you can change it before you sleep.
Waiting for 8pm so you can feed your mother and give your father's meds.
Waiting for you to become sleepy so you can rest and have some sleep.
Waiting for your 5am alarm to start all over again!

Damn that's a lot of wait! Boring isn't it? Ho Hummm!

Kwento Ng Pag-Ibig

2009-03-12T22:09:00.003+11:00

akda ni Abner Hornedo, M.D.

N'ung tayo'y unang magsulatan at magkausap,
Ewan ko ba kung ba't iba agad ang naramdaman.
Nagkunwari ako sa takot na masaktan muli,
Minabuting umiwas, damdamin ko'y pinigilan.
Ang tunay na saloobin ko'y mahalin ka,
Halata man ito pero sa iyo'y 'di ipinadama.
Alam kong 'di ako naging totoo sa aking sarili,
Lumisan ka pauwi saka ako nalungkot at nagsisi.
Ngunit sa 'yong pagbalik upang dumalaw,
Ang galak at tuwa ko'y nag umapaw.
Malinis at tapat na hangarin ay aking naramdaman,
Ano pa't puso ko'y umibig na ng lubusan.
Hanggang ngayon ako'y 'di makapaniwala,
Ang dati kong hinahangaan, ngayo'y nandito na.
Lubos na kaligayan ang ibinigay mo sa akin,
Kaya't marapat lang na ika'y lumigaya din.
Itong puso ko'y sa iyo na lamang,
Tanging maiaalay ko bilang kabayaran.
Ang mahalin ka'y hindi ko pagsasawaan hanggang magpakailan man.

Inner Fear

2009-03-08T00:22:00.004+11:00

"Let's go home, it's getting late" Aries told his elder brother Red. "We'll wait for her again here same time tomorrow," he quickly continued. Red just nodded and began to grab his walking stick as he prepares to stand up and head for home. Holding his brother's arm on the left and tapping his cane on the footpath, they started their slow walk towards home. They have been waiting at the Chelsea bus stop daily every 4pm until late and been doing that for almost 4 years now.

Redden Comia is Chelsea's well known General Practitioner. He is well respected and loved by all his patients and the whole community as well. He is your perfect "boy next door" type of gentleman, well mannered, polite and God fearing.

In one of the medical seminars he religiously attend, he met Shirley, a paramedic who at that time was attending the post-graduate course. Shirley Marasigan is from West Liverpool, a suburb not far away from Chelsea. He knew first thing he laid eyes on her that she is the "one." Red and Shirley became an instant hit, they were compatible in many ways. Regularly they see each other, Red would drive for hours to West Liverpool to be with her and Shirley on the other hand takes the bus to visit his man. Every time Shirley travels to Chelsea, Red always would be there at the bus stop patiently waiting for bus 620 from West Liverpool.

One fine day of September, Dr. Comia while on his way to West Liverpool figured in a 6-car motorway accident. The crash was so serious, it nearly ended the good doctor's life. Hundreds of shattered windshield glass exploded on Red's face some of which found their way to his eyes, piercing through both his retinas. Red became blind.

What was once a perfect life completely turned around. Red cannot practise his profession anymore, his medical clinic, which at some point was so busy with patients, is now padlocked and up for sale. He became a very sad man. Bus trips from West Liverpool were still running on a regular basis but the driver of the 620 bus now misses his favorite regular passenger from West Liverpool. Shirley's trips to Chelsea became less frequent until one day it ceased. Yes, she stopped seeing Red for reasons only she could explain.

Red still waits patiently at the bus stop, and with his brother, Aries' help they do that everyday. He is still hoping that one day, bus 620's favorite passenger would alight. He still believes that one day she will come visit him, to be with him, keep her promise.

Red felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Aries. "Wake up lazy bones!" "You are running late, your receptionist already called and the queue in your clinic is already long!" he exclaimed. He smiled and replied, "Yup, I'll be there in a sec, brother" He was so glad to woke up from a bad dream. A nightmare that possibly could be a reflection of his inner fears.

Ahhh Sunday

2009-03-01T13:03:00.003+11:00

It's another quiet Sunday afternoon here, the weather is just perfect and everybody seem to be outside enjoying the sun. Nen woke me up early this morning, (she's in LA by the way) it's a great feeling being awaken by the sweet voice of your better half. It really made my day. I heard mass first thing in the morning and after that went straight home and did the cleaning.

Nearly lunch, I went to Rouse Hill to buy our present for Kuya Migo. We decided to give him a book about Origami, an art he really enjoys doing. On my way there, Nen called me to say that Rachel's team lost by a point and that she's about to watch AJ play. It's a good thing she was able to find her mobile phone otherwise we'll be out of touch, well, at least during the day.

I am hoping that the kids will react favorably when she breaks the news to them later today. Goodluck my dear...

I am looking forward to meet them personally and get to know them more, God wiling.

My Angel

2009-02-24T19:43:00.003+11:00

I received this poem from my one and only love. I just want to share this to you...

My Angel

If you didn't come into my life,
Lost will be the dreams i had
Of a bright and happy tomorrow.
Vulnerable to the evils of the flesh,
Emotions often betray my being
You are an angel sent from above
One, bound to set free my soul.
Unjustly chosen to withstand hurt.
Anguished, tarnished my heart may be,.
Because of your love,...hope thrives..
New life dawns for two hearts yearning.
Ending solace , fear and despair...
Remain and forever dwell in my heart ,my love,
this i ask of you..

For You

2009-02-20T19:24:00.003+11:00

I know this is long overdue
Loneliness gone because of you.
Our lives changed nothing's blue
Visions of tomorrow became new.
Enjoying every second, love grew
You are my life, I need you true.
One by one my problems flew
Unlike before my heart's black in hue.
Now you're here one became two
Earth and heaven are witnesses too,
Never again will I bid adieu.

The Gentle Giant

2009-02-19T17:35:00.002+11:00

From afar a golden voice came echoing,
Waking a gentle giant from deep slumbering.
Hesitant at first smiles abound thereafter,
Happiness ensued his heart beat louder.

Scent of love in the air ensued,
The heart of the sleeping giant wooed.
Mornings blossomed full of endless hope,
For a peaceful life near a slope.

Mistakes forgiven pasts have been forgotten too,
This gentle giant invested his emotions true.
Lightning struck breaking hearts to pieces,
A quiet and painful cry releases.

How much more could his heart endure?
Only him and no one could cure.
His only wish to the voice afar,
Cut deep and leave a scar.

V day, B day

2009-02-15T09:23:00.002+11:00

Valentines day... like any ordinary day, passed by just like a wink of an eye. Time really flies and hell its fast! The supposed to be day of the hearts became a day of waiting... waiting for my special someone which surprisingly did not show up.

The day became more gloomy as the rain kept on pouring, as if adding insult to injury. I wasn't able to go out to take photographs or practise my swing in the driving range or clean my car. It was so boring!

Might as well hibernate today... ho hummm....

Nature Trip

2009-01-26T13:27:00.003+11:00

Yesterday, Sunday, I went with Eric and his family to Ku-Ring Gai National Park in Bobbin Head. They went fishing and I brought my camera and just clicked away...

Here are some of the pictures.

I Played Badminton

2009-01-13T08:13:00.002+11:00

T'was summer of the early years of this millenium when almost all big storage houses, covered spaces and vacant lots in the Philippines were converted into playing courts. Back then a sport rarely known and played by Filipinos fast became a craze as evidenced by disappearance of tennis racquets on display racks of sporting goods stores. Those thick framed racquets were replaced by Badminton racquets.

Badminton became the country's most popular sport. It even surpassed Basketball in popularity as the country's professional league slowly but surely became so boring as it became a trying hard, copycat of the NBA. Young and old, the affluent and the not so rich, people from all walks of life begun embracing the sport which uses a shuttlecock.

The game was introduced to me by Annie. Back then her sister and her sister's friends played badminton thrice a week. She invited me to one of their playing nights and I liked the game straight away. Its not because I just want to be "in," its because the game suited my age and stamina back then.

I can still remember the first time I played. I was wearing an "all borrowed" outfit. Shoes from my brother, shorts and shirt from my dad and racquet from my neighbour. I reckon I looked clumsy back then.

I became good at the sport, so to speak. Who wouldn't if you practise for more than 4 hours, 4 to 5 times a week. I won some tournaments and had trophies as well. I became so addicted to it that I feel bad every time our playing schedule was postponed.

Playing Badminton gave me the chance to meet new people and new friends. Some became my best friends even. Larry and his wife Bennet, Benjo, Dennis, Kap Arnel, Don, Kuya Em, Lolong, Ronald, Allan, Ted, Ed, Nonie, Ian, Robert Pitbull to name a few.

Presently I ceased to play the game, although I still belong to a Filo group who plays the game here in Australia. Its been 8 months now since I last held a shuttlecock. Life's different when you have to work 5 to 6 times a week and still have to do house chores after work. You will not have the energy to play anymore...

I guess this is post is being written to formally retire form the sport of Badminton. I will cherish all the memories, good and bad and I will treasure the friends I gained. I will surely miss the drop shots and the smashes, the fun and excitement. Later I will be hanging my Yonex racquet on the wall and will be using my Mizuno Badminton shoes as my walking shoes.

Thanks for the memories!

I Didn't Realise It's Christmas

2008-12-24T13:38:00.002+11:00

Maybe its because of my age... Or maybe because I'm still drowning from work... Or maybe its because Christmas is not such a "big thing" here, that I didn't realise it is Christmas eve already.

Bugger! I have to rush to the shops after work to buy presents for Kris Kringle and for "our" tourists as well. (Tita Nelly and the gang are still with us up to the New Year's Eve) Man, I hate shopping especially at this time but I have no choice but to do it! Bugger!

Happy Christmas ya all!

Wedding Bells

2008-12-15T16:23:00.004+11:00

On Thursday, the 18th, our youngest sister, Abigail will be marrying. I just can't imagine how our family's dearest "baby" will be going away from us and starting a new life with someone else. I'm very glad to see that she's very very happy and I just wish her all the best!

That makes me the last remaining single among our generation... Oh well, so much for the whining!

Greatest Philippine Treasure Wins Anew!

2008-12-07T16:41:00.004+11:00

photo from HBO.com
Its all over but the shouting! Manny Pacquiao once again proved how "world-class" a Filipino can be. He gave Oscar dela Hoya a beating of his life, winning by TKO when the Golden Boy failed to answer the bell on the 9th round.

My hat's off to you Manny Pacquiao. Isa kang dakilang Pinoy! Once again you put the Philippines in the "good" limelight.

MABUHAY KA!

Must See!

2008-11-23T10:18:00.002+11:00

Last night I watched the movie based on Khaled Housseini's best seller "The Kite Runner." It was a very good inspirational movie and I recommend you see it in case you haven't. I won't tell much about it, you have to see it for yourself.

"There is a way to be good again." This is how the author summarizes his work.

Enjoy!

At Work On Labour Day

2008-10-06T13:46:00.002+11:00

Its Labour day today here in New South Wales, a non- working public holiday which happens every first Monday of October. Its the third day of the "long weekend" and the third day of the "double demerit" weekend.

As for me, its just a usual working day, Im here at the Mater and I just finished my 1300hr rounds. Nothing much to do today, I hope it will stay that way until 8:30pm.

Very boring.. Ho hum!!!

Li'l Abner

2008-09-21T21:26:00.005+10:00

Every time I enter a patient's room at the Mater Hospital, I always introduce myself politely by saying my name and the department which I belong to. More often than not the patients have fancied my name. One common question I usually encounter is where did my name come from.

It was actually my father's idea of christening me Abner. He got my name from a long running newspaper comic strip by Al Capp, Li'l Abner. Apparently while waiting for my mum to give birth that morning of July 14, 1967, he was reading a newspaper and saw the comic strip, ingenious isn't it? My name has biblical background as well, Abner was King Saul's cousin and Commander-in-Chief of his army.

Famous namesakes include; Abner Doubleday, Abner Dalrymple, Abner Powell, baseball players, Abner Haynes, a footballer and Abner Mikva, a former US politician.

Blogging Hiatus

2008-09-03T16:34:00.002+10:00

Its been a month since I posted in my blog, I've been very busy with work and when at home busy with house chores. So much had happened this past month which I missed musing on, my failed AMC exam, Eric's 40th birthday, the Beijing Olympics, my new "old" car, my weekend shifts at the Mater Hospital, the car accident last Saturday, getting lost while driving to work, Tatay's diabetic foot, Heidi's return to the Philippines, Jil's postponed netball game, the boys' backyard basketball hoop, Ate Bless' visit in Sydney, Alvin's new job... to name a few.

August passed by that quickly and it brought with it the cool winter wind. Springtime is here and I HOPE it will inspire me to write more.

Good to be back... AGAIN!

GMA, Eat This!

2008-07-31T15:01:00.002+10:00

I found this video from you tube...

This is too much! This the TRUE "state of the nation"...

$1,800 For Four Lollies!

2008-07-20T20:32:00.004+10:00

It's over and done with. After months of self review and studying, finally I got to sit and finish the MCQ exams yesterday. While most of the Sydneysiders and pilgrims from around the globe marched their way to the Randwick Racecourse yesterday, for a vigil in anticipation for the Holy Father's World Youth Day mass today, about close to 300 overseas trained doctors (me included) worked out a sweat answering the MCQ exams!

It was quite a good experience! The exams were computerised and we were treated with free coffees and candies! I had 4 lollies during the entirety of the exam that's why I was joking my sisters that I ate the most expensive lollies on earth! (the exam costs $1,800!) I guess I have to wait for another month for me to know the results. I'm not too confident in passing that test but I sure am hoping for the best.

After the exams I was in a hurry going home, I knew that Eric, Jorge and Alvin were waiting for me for our weekly "boy's party" but I was shocked by the news that they had rushed my father to the hospital that afternoon because he "collapsed." I was very worried knowing that my Tatay is like a walking time bomb ready to explode any moment of the day. He was subsequently admitted at the Baulkham Hills Private Hospital and was treated for AF. (the boy's party pushed thru but it was a "SOLEMN" one :) ) He is better now, we visited him earlier this morning after hearing mass.

I still need your prayers, especially for the speedy recovery of my father.

Its good to be back writing again!

Arnel Pineda's JOURNEY

2008-06-18T15:19:00.000+10:00

Mabuhay ka!

Temporary (?) Signing Off

2008-06-12T15:57:00.002+10:00

I will be having a leave of absence in the blogosphere. I have to study the whole medical course again in a month's time in preparation for the AMC MCQ. I do not know how to do it as I am working at the same time... I need prayers please.

I will be just lurking in the background.

Fault Finding

2008-06-02T07:54:00.003+10:00

Last Friday I worked in the Frenchs Forest collection room. That collection centre was termed "The Kingdom" by other DHM staff members because all our bosses have their office there. I was surprised when our area manager, Diana, called me to her office. I had a bad feeling I was going to be reprimanded and my hunch was right. Apparently she received a two complaints from an anonymous staff or staffs that I was not cleaning my work area after my tour of duty, especially doing the rubbish bins; and for that I experience a litany of sorts from Diana!

I was shocked and felt really disturbed about it. I know for a fact that I am not that kind of person. I admit I didn't do the rubbish bin last Tuesday when I was in Cremorne but that was the only time I didn't take the rubbish out. This is my side of the story...

Last Monday I worked in Big Bear, Neutral Bay Medical Center, I was about to take all the rubbish that afternoon when my co-collector Muazama stopped me from doing so. She told me that every time I work in Medical Centers, like the Big Bear, I don't have to worry about cleaning the bins because a cleaner is assigned to do the thing. Cool!

Tuesday, I was in Cremorne Medical Center. Its quite a busy collection room because you are all alone by yourself there. I hate to work there, honestly. In case you have a very difficult collection, you have nobody to ask for help. After finishing at 1 pm, I tidied up the collection bench and the room. I was about to do the rubbish bins when I remembered what Muazama had told me. Cremorne collection room was inside a Medical Center and I thought that a cleaner will do the bins there as well.

I admit I was guilty and I apologized for that. Now I know that each and every collection rooms has its own rules, its own style to say so. What you can do in one room is entirely different to another and sadly for me, I am being assigned everywhere, each day, a new collection center.

I just do not want Diana or the other bosses to think that I am always like that. I am not! I work hard everyday and I am sure that the company is getting all the services from me that is due them, I work hard for every dollar I earn. I am sure many can vouch for that. I usually don't have "cuppas" or "smokos" which the others do everytime.

Lastly, it is not very nice for someone to pull down another just to gain "pogi" points. I thought it only happens in the Philippines. It's just the same as our "crab mentality" back home. It's disgusting and annoying.

I rest my case.

Picky Eaters

2008-05-25T19:03:00.003+10:00

There are times we have to scold our nephews and niece because of their bizarre eating habits. Each and everyone of them have their own rituals so to speak during mealtime. We do not have a problem with Migo, the eldest among my 4 nephews and niece. He eats almost everything that is served at the the table if he is in the mood, otherwise, problem! Eki, the second among the 3 boys has certain peculiarities. He only eats "sitaw" but prefers fish as viand. He is also fond of soy sauce. He usually stands up and leave the table even if he is not yet finished. You have to call him again and scold him before he finishes his meal. Wey, 5 years old, the youngest, is the most picky eater among the 3 boys. He prefers "Spam" most of the time and his mum has to spoon feed him, otherwise he will not eat. Jil my one and only niece also has preferences for food but being afraid of her mum makes her manageable at the table.

I wonder where they all got their trait of being a picky eater... Hmmm.... Probably from Oki (my pet name)! :-)

Honestly I grew up being a picky eater as well. My father who was an excellent cook, used to prepare a different dish just for me especially when our viand is fish. I do not eat fish, except for fried bangus (milkfish). The reason I always give whenever I was asked why I do not eat fish is that it is forbidden in our religion to eat fish (hehehe)! I don't know... I just don't like the taste and the smell! Once I was forced by my ex to taste fried "tilapia," I ended up in their bathroom throwing up. I just couldn't swallow it.

I am also fond of cooking. During my first 8 months here in Sydney, I do most of the cooking at our home because I have no job during those times. Pasta is my favorite recipe and obviously my favorite food. I can cook various filipino dishes, "adobo," "kare-kare," "kaldereta" and "sinigang" to name a few. It gives me a sense of fulfillment every time my family liked what I cooked. It makes me want to cook more. Cooking also relieves the stress of daily life. Our kitchen has become my "office" here in Sydney and I am happy to cook for my family.

So every time we eat with the kids, I leave the scolding for my other sister to do. I know what those kids feel and I don't want them to throw the question of "why they do not like the food" or "why they are not eating this or that" back to my face. I know that up to now I am still a picky eater and will grow old as such.

Family First!

2008-05-17T21:21:00.008+10:00

Our topic for this week's blog rounds is very relevant and interesting. our host, Joey M.D. picked a subject matter that really caught my attention. I really wanted to write my piece about my family and I think this post is long overdue. By family, I mean my original family where I originated. At 40 years of age I do not reckon I will still have a family of my own (but I am still praying for a miracle as I really wanted to marry, have children and God willing, live to see my grandchildren) and my original family is the only family I've got.

If there's one thing I can boast of, it's the strong family bond that we, the Hornedos have. We've been through thick and thin, through ups and downs, through hell and high water, through the toughest of times and I am proud to say, we are still here together, all 5 of us siblings and our parents. With all my in-laws, nephews and niece, we constitute one happy clan. I am glad I was able to migrate here as I was the only one left in the Philippines and honestly, the years I spent alone and away from them were the loneliest times of my life. I couldn't imagine how sad I was during those times I was away from my family. I guess all of our OFWs felt the same and I tell you it was like living hell.

One of the things that makes us, Filipinos unique, is the very strong family ties that bind us together. Our families are so closely knitted that only in our country can you see 3 sometimes 4 generations living under one roof. I must admit we are one of a kind especially when it comes to caring for our elders. As much as possible we do not place our elders in nursing homes unlike down here in Australia where retirement villages are in abundance. Pensioners and retirees often are placed in nursing homes to be cared for by others.

My becoming a doctor is actually a personal choice. Nobody in my family influenced me to become one as nobody among them is a doctor or worked in a health related profession. They were very supportive in my chosen career as a physician. My parents and siblings as well were all very proud of me, especially when I passed the Physician Licensure Examination... I will not forget those days! I can still remember how protective my mother was during my training years; clerkship, internship and early part of my residency, she will not allow anybody to disturb my sleep especially when I am "from duty," and yes, not even my girlfriend.

My being single up to now is a long story, but it is definitely not related to my being a doctor. Probably the biggest decision I ever made was leaving my meager private practice and my being a doctor in the Philippines to be with my family, especially be with my mum here in Australia and I have NO REGRETS with that decision whatsoever.

Honestly, my parents are my priorities at the moment. They are my family and I am happy and contented being with them. I am also glad I live near my brother and sisters' houses, we get to see each other every Fridays (beer day!) and Saturdays and Sundays. I know this set-up will not last forever, I know that sooner or later things will change and so with my priorities but for now I'll savor the moments.

Explain This

2008-05-14T14:17:00.004+10:00

photo from Inquirer.net

In the light of a new evidence showing the president and her husband in Shenzhen, China playing golf and after the game had lunch with ZTE officials to discuss the NBN project, Gloria Arroyo is being asked to explain the picture and the allegations.

Come to think of it, maybe they were there just to play golf........ Nah, that's bu11$#!t! I don't think so.

Offering A Moment Of Silence And Prayers

2008-05-13T23:12:00.004+10:00

Please let us offer a moment of silence and pray for all the victims of the strong earthquake in China and the powerful typhoon that wrecked havoc in Myanmar. Two big calamities in nearly two weeks time, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people, makes me think that we are being reminded that GOD should be in the center of our lives. Many must be forgetting HIM and taking HIM for granted, which should not be the case. We should also praise and thank HIM that we are all safe with our families and we are not the ones suffering physically or emotionally at this very moment.

Remember that when we are gathered together in prayer, GOD is in the midst among us listening to all our wishes and petitions.

Cheers To You!

2008-05-08T20:58:00.005+10:00

People tend to forget unpleasant memories, we only keep the good ones. We reminisce the enjoyable past events and as much as possible do not think of the awful ones. How can someone forget a great guru which molded you the way you are now? And how can anyone joyfully remember a person which made your life a living hell?

Many doctors became inspirations for me. Ever since I started medical school, I admired many (but not all) of my professors and teachers. I used to day dream that someday I'll reach the status they are in at that time. During my short stint as Surgical Resident and as a Pediatric Resident, I learned to love and admire two great people. Both of them are good teachers and both of them equally competent practitioners as well.

Dr. Ray Malilay was the Surgical Department's chairman of the Mary Chiles General Hospital when I was a Surgical Resident back in 1995. He was very strict when it comes to surgical techniques and decision making. Dr. Malilay played a major part in honing my surgical skills. I will always remember my first Herniorrhaphy, he was my first assist then. I had a hard time because my knuckles got sore from the army/navy retractor which he used to hit my hand whenever I did a wrong move.

Dr. Manuel Ferreria is like a father to all of the Pediatric Residents who had training at the Delos Santos Medical Center. In fact he is godfather to all Pedia Residents who got married. He is like a walking encyclopedia, would you believe he knows even the sodium and potassium content of a Gatorade drink! He always had questions during our morning endorsement rounds be it silly or serious. I learned a lot from him.

These are two of my best teachers. I owe them a lot because I will not be in this position if not for their guidance and support. I salute both of them for a job well done because I know deep in my heart that I became the doctor they wanted me to be.

Mabuhay po kayo Dr. Malilay at Dr. Ferreria!

The Story Of Nan Cheng

2008-05-08T16:23:00.004+10:00

Violence begets violence. We always hear or read this phrase. Violence will never bring into existence peace and that is a fact. If you live your life with guns, gold and goons all your life, chances are your death will be related to guns, goons and gold as well. If you take away innocent lives just because they are not on your side, then, sooner or later your life will be taken away from you too, just like the way you do it.

The violent death of Nan Cheng was well deserved. He was gunned down while having a drinking spree with mates. Nobody knew who the killer was. Nan lived his life with a gun tucked on his waist, literally speaking. He was a "toughie" in his place, hitting almost anyone whom he doesn't like. Nan was a bully and he always see to it that he gets what he wants and what he needs. He was a drunkard and a heavy gambler. He was so evil, mean and abusive of his powers during his days. I cannot think of a good adjective to describe him.

Now that he is dead, I'm sure his family is in grief but I'm pretty sure that a majority is in jubilation knowing that the old bully is gone forever. No more pistol whipping, no more indiscriminate firing of guns during drinking sprees, no more unexplained disappearances and deaths, no more cheating in gambling places, no more drugs.

I told you my mother will outlive you... you sanabagan!

My First Day Off

2008-05-07T14:40:00.003+10:00

Last week I asked my area manager, Jenny, to just roster me in three '8 hour' working days instead of the usual five '5 hour' shifts per week she was giving me. I told her that I will be starting to study for the AMC exams which I will sit come July. In a way I will also be saving money from the transportation fare while staying at home. She was very understanding and accommodating, hence this new 3 day per week work.

I am savoring this day of rest, after 3 months of continuous work... finally a taste of a day off the job. I'll just arrange my books and review materials and I will be studying again. If my brain will permit...

I hope I still have enough neurons left for me to pass this exam. The thought of studying during the majority of my life, makes me feel lazy. I reckon I had enough, don't you think?

Maybe I'm just too old for this.

Wish me luck...

Watch Out Satan

2008-05-02T22:05:00.003+10:00

Watch out prince of darkness, your reign in hell is almost over, enter the worst devil that ever walk on the face of the earth, Josef Fritzl! Damn, this animal is more evil than Lucifer himself! This devil incestuously raped his own daughter and locked her for almost two decades in a windowless basement. His hellish actions resulted in 7 children, one of whom died during infancy.

Unbelievable but true! Words cannot describe how evil this creature is! He is not even worthy to be called a human being. Even death by torture is not enough to punish this devil. Burn in hell Fritzl.

Walang Ganyan Sa Australia

2008-04-28T21:33:00.002+10:00

I used to blog about the negative side of the Philippines, yes, I am guilty of putting a bit of shame to our country but I only do it sarcastically to prove a point. I created that blog when I was still in the Philippines, not to put our country down or make worse its reputation, it was actually meant to be a wake up call, to somehow "shake" a sleepy nation to face reality and change for the better.

Fact is, I love the Philippines very much that I take honor and pride being a Filipino. I left the Philippines for personal reasons but it doesn't mean that I do not love our country anymore. I hope our kababayans in the Philippines will understand people like me who chose to leave the Philippines for various reasons. Whenever the likes of Efren "Bata" Reyes or Django Bustamante or Manny Pacquiao triumph in the sporting scene, I am one of the many Pinoy bloggers blogging about them telling everybody in cyberspace how truly "world-class" Filipinos are. Some of my posts are archived and I reckon I wrote about them and other "world-class Pinoys" a number of times.

But what is it in the Philippines that makes us love it with all our hearts? I can name more than a hundred and one reasons and I am sure all you Pinoys out there can think thousands and thousands more.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES simply because it is my one and only TRUE HOME. I was born and raised there and that fact will remain forever even if I'll change citizenship in the years to come. Australia will only be my second home.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES because Filipinos are generally good people. Hardworking, God-fearing, responsible, polite, family oriented, loyal. These attributes are inherent to Pinoys no matter where we are. When you ask Australians to describe a Filipino, they will definitely say good adjectives in defining us.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES because of the good food. Sinigang na baboy, Kare-kare, Nilagang baka, Inihaw na bangus, Bagoong at Itlog na maalat. These are but some of the mouth-watering delicacies our country has to offer. Not to mention the world renowned Balut, which can only be found in the Philippines.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES because of its scenic and majestic places. The Banaue Rice Terraces, Mt. Apo in Davao, Boracay, Palawan, Cebu, Vigan to name a few.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES because world class people, doctors, inventors, athletes and artists come from this part of the earth.

And most of all I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES because there is no place in the world like it.

God bless the Philippines! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Another Pitiful Story Of A Filipina

2008-04-23T15:13:00.004+10:00

I found this video clip from YouTube about a Filipina entertainer who left the Philippines in search for a better life. She auditioned for Britain's Got Talent in order for her to gain more popularity hence more job and more earnings to support her two children whom she left in the Philippines.

Madonna Decena blew the judges and audience away on Britains Got Talent 2008 with a breathtaking performance of this famous Whitney Houston song I Will Always Love You. This 33 year-old from the Philippines lived up to her billing, as she wowed the judges and audience with her powerful performance and heart-felt story.

In tears and a little unsure of herself, Madonna walked onto the stage and told everyone her reason for being there.

Six months ago she flew out to Britain in the hope of creating a better life for herself and two young daughters. Agonisingly she had to leave her precious children behind with their grandparents in the Philippines, until she had raised enough money to send for them.

This audition was a dream come true for Madonna, it was potentially life-changing, and when the panel told her she had made it to the next round... it was as if all her dreams had been answered. Life's really hard in the Philippines and it is becoming harder and harder each day... God bless the Philippines!

Is There Really A System?

2008-04-19T09:13:00.011+10:00

I was again invited to participate in the blog rounds. This is actually the 6th edition and my fourth time to contribute. The topic chosen by the host, Merrycherry is very interesting indeed for it concerns the Philippine healthcare system which we doctors are a part of.

When I received her invitation to participate, I sarcastically commented on her blog post that the Philippines has no "system" of healthcare at all. That was purely sarcasm... yes our "poor" (pun intentional) country has a healthcare system but sad to say it sucks!

First and foremost, like what has been lamented by each and every Health Secretaries, past and present, health was, is, and will never be one of the Philippine government's top priorities (not in Arroyo's time anyway). I don't reckon they care about the nation's health at all. The total appropriations for the Department of Health for 2007, according to the Department of Budget and Management is Php 11,562,704,000.00. At first glance... WOW that's a lot of moolah but in reality that's only a booger comparing to more than 1 TRILLION peso annual budget. Well, in case you do not know, Mrs. Arroyo... health is wealth. So the next time you check-in at St. Lukes' suite room for a check-up, think about the millions of your kababayans in dire need of being healthly as well. I cannot compare the Philippine Healthcare system with Australia's Medicare. There is no point of comparing... ang layo talaga at ang laki ng kaibahan! All I know is that Australia's health is being take cared of very meticulously by the Federal Government and the State Government as well.

Secondly, corruption will always be a stigma to the Philippines. Hell, it runs through the veins of many public and private officials already. What more can we do about it? (unless we execute them all ;) ). The lagayans, SOP's, padulas, 10%'s... these will NEVER stop. I am not saying all officials are like that but almost all are! What will you do to a very small budget and part of that budget goes to the pocket of hungry corrupt crocodiles and personnel. Whew, I can't imagine the headache, Secretary Duque is having everyday. I pity the good man.

Thirdly, my personal opinion is that doctors are not taken cared of in our country. I can only shake my head in disgust! Why do you think doctors leave the country and work as nurses, pathology collectors, AIN's? Just answer that question yourselves. Which reminds me of my salary when I was a Paediatric resident in 1998, its a meager Php 2,500 per month. Doctors are being damn abused and used! And what is the lame excuse of these so called training hospitals and university hospitals? Oh, its because you are still under training...that's bull$h!t isn't it? Interns, resident doctors and fellows man your hospitals while your arses are snoring at home, don't you think it is unfair? I say, doctors in training should be given what they truly deserve. Good living quarters, free decent food, free uniforms, good salaries and most of all put an end to the bull$h!t thing of making them work on a 24 hour shifts, hell that is a no, no! Here in Australia, doctors in training work 10 or 12 hours,max, per day and they surely earn heaps

Another thing is that the dispensing of medicines and drugs is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very lax in the Philippines. Medicines are being sold to the public even without prescriptions. Mercury Drug is the only winner with regards to this problem. People no longer go to doctors, all they need to do is go to the nearest Mercury drug outlet and ask the saleslady or salesman there what is the medicine for this and that. I experienced it myself. I still can recall how I scolded a woman and a Mercury Drug saleslady. I was buying my anti-hypertensive maintenance drugs when a woman besides me started asking the saleslady for a cough medicine for a child, as if she was consulting a doctor. This good for nothing idiot saleslady asked, "how old?" and the woman replied 2 years old. She said "ahh, Dimetapp po" I couldn't helped it so I butted in. I introduced myself as a doctor, not that I want her child to be my patient, I told her not to consult a saleslady who obviously has no idea what she is talking about and instead bring her child to a doctor.

Another problem related to the drug dispensing thing is that our Barangay health centres are not manned by doctors. Instead they are mostly manned by "know-it-all" midwives who almost always prescribe and give "Cephalexin" left and right. Good if they know the correct dosage and duration of treatment but most if not all the time they do not. For me that is a major reason for drug resistance! Again it boils down to lack of doctors... secondary to lack of funding, secondary to poor government prioritisation, etc, etc.

Lastly we Filipinos do not value our own health. Many are guilty of that and that is a fact. We do not eat right, we do not exercise regularly, we do vices. These are small things that should be first in our priorities as individuals. For we cannot do anything anymore if we are already 6 feet under the ground.

Pinoy Finalist In So You Think You Can Dance Australia

2008-04-17T14:50:00.003+10:00

Demi Sorono, a Filipino- Aussie is one of the top 4 contestants in Australia's favorite dance show, So You Think You Can Dance. She will be dancing with Australia's 3 best dancers. Demi hails from Melbourne but she and her family came from the Philippines. Two other top 20 finalists were from the Philippines or have Filipino blood, they are JD Carteret and Rhiannon Villareal.

All the best to you Demi, you make all Filipinos proud. Mabuhay ka!

IELTS, A Money Making Scam?

2008-04-14T16:43:00.003+10:00

I cannot comprehend why the IELTS (International English Language Testing System) has a validity period even if you have passed it already. All I reckon is that it is just a money making scheme which preys on poor migrants like us. I took the IELTS December 2005 and got a very decent result. I used it for my visa application and used it for my assessment for the Australian Medical Council MCQ examination.

Last week, I applied for a "part time" Paediatric Registrar position. The Department's head notified me that my IELTS is not acceptable anymore because it is three months over the validity period and I cannot be given a temporary registration by the New South Wales Medical Board. I understand the reason why they need people like us to present a proof of english proficiency because english is not our first language, but what I am saying is that the IELTS should not have a validity period. It doesn't mean that after two years, when the IELTS' validity lapses, you do not know how to speak and understand the language anymore. That's silly isn't it? What proof do they still need, I am working for two months now and naturally speaking english in communicating with patients and co-workers as well. Its very frustrating!

Somebody must voice out in protest to this stupid idea, to this hidden form of discrimination! I know that we migrants do not have english as our first language, I accept that fact. But I think an IELTS result with a high rating is enough to prove that one can communicate well in english. It doesn't need to have a validity period simply because the person who took and passed it will continue to understand, speak, write and read the english language long after the validity period is over.

Warm There, Chilly Here

2008-04-13T09:21:00.003+10:00

I was again invited to join and contribute to the blog rounds. It's actually the 5th blog rounds and my 3rd time to contribute. The topic for this week as chosen by the moderator, Ness is entitled "I know what you did last summer!" I don't know what to share or where to start but here it goes anyway....

April and May are sure warm and dry months in the Philippines, the much awaited summer break for all especially for the kids who are studying. During these times, Pinoys start to flock beaches and resorts or go to Baguio perhaps. Here in Aussieland it is starting to become cold and chilly, people start to wear sweatshirts and hoodies... Summer is over and what can be more lovely than the pleasant autumn weather.

December through February are the warmest months here. We celebrate Christmas here in the scorching heat of summer. Probably one of my most memorable summer was the one when we celebrated Christmas of 2006. The family was complete then, my brother in law who works in the Philippines spent Christmas with us, also, Eric's family was for the first time together here in Sydney during that festive season. That was the first noche buena we had here in Sydney where each and everyone were present. That was a very memorable one. The kids had a great time.

I guess from now on I will not be spending my Aprils and Mays going to the beach or having a swim at resorts or going to Baguio. I will be wearing jackets and scarves going to work. My Christmases will be much different as well, so much for chilly December mornings and Simbang Gabi. I will be spending the rest of my summers greeting everyone a Merry Christmas.

Enjoy your summer there and I will savor my autumn here...

Heidi's On Her Way Home

2008-04-07T18:52:00.002+10:00

Today is a very sad day for us, my eldest sister Heidi is going back to the Philippines to be with her husband. Finally, after close to three years of waiting, she decided that its time for her to go back. We will surely miss her company. I wish her well and happiness she surely deserve.

To you Heidi, may you be happy in your decision, which we all reckon is the right thing for you to do. Don't worry, we'll take care of Nanay and Tatay while you are away. I'm sure you'll be alright in the Philippines as well. Don't work too hard.

May GOD be with you.

Doctors Are Human After All

2008-04-06T12:37:00.002+10:00

People always expect that doctors practice what we are preaching and therefore it is imperative for us to be healthy all the time. It is a common thinking of many that doctors have no right to be ill, that is why sometimes they forget that doctors are human too. That we are susceptible to all the diseases and maladies like everyone else. That we also inherit defective genes. That we also feel the pain, physical or emotional it may be.

I am no exception to the rule. I became a patient too. I suffered an episode of TIA when I was a second year Pediatric Resident and was confined in the ICU for days. I can't forget being glued to my bed because I was ordered CBR without bathroom privileges. Can you imagine yourself urinating and defecating while lying supine? Hard isn't it? Whew! I went through all of that. Not to mention all the needlesticks from blood exams and IV insertion... Ouch! that hurt. And what about your vital signs being monitored by the hour??? I hope you can imagine how sleepless my nights were during that time. But what is more difficult for us doctors when we become ill is the mental torture we have to endure, because we actually know what is really happening to our system. We know the severity and prognosis of our own sickness. We do not need our "attending physician's" litany of words and false hopes so to speak, for us to know what is really wrong with our body.

Empathy for patients is a very important for us doctors. We should almost always put ourselves in our patients' shoes to be able to understand them more. It will be easier for us to do that if we actually had experienced being one. So the next time we order serial blood tests or nil bathroom privileges, think again and go easy. Patients, like us doctors are human as well.

Confirmation

2008-04-02T14:43:00.002+11:00

Yesterday, 1st of April was Migo and Eki's Confirmation at St. Michael's Catholic Church. The Sacrament was given by Father Paul Slyney and Father Michael O'Callahan. A total of close to 50 young boys and girls from the St. Michael Parish received it.

The Sacrament of Confirmation, the least known and appreciated among the Seven Sacraments. It is described as the Sacrament of Spiritual Maturity according to Friar Jack's E-spirations. When a person is Confirmed, the Holy Spirit is being given to the individual to make them "Soldiers of Christ."

After the mass, the whole family (except for nanay who was left home) had dinner at the Baulkham Palace in Stockland Mall, Baulkham Hills.

My New Notebook

2008-03-31T19:49:00.003+11:00

At last, a MacBook of my own... I've been longing for this for ages! Thank you Heidi for helping me on this one.

image from apple.com

Fate Sometimes Decide

2008-03-29T15:34:00.005+11:00

Life is always a choice between right or wrong, a selection between good or bad. Everyday of our lives, we are faced with the challenge to choose. Sad to say but many of us Filipinos rely heavily on fate as to the outcome of many decisions in our lives. I do not really know where we inherited this "bahala na" attitude. This bad trait which seems to be inherent in our genes sometimes if not, most of the time lead us to horrendous decisions leading to unpleasant outcomes.

Like the typical Filipino I was always faced with the dilemma of choosing as well. My life is full of difficult decisions all of which contributed to what I am now and I reckon fate has something to do with it. But I have no regrets whatsoever because I believe that everybody must stand by his or her decision, whatever the outcome maybe, good or bad.

Honestly, becoming a Physician is not my first ambition. I really wanted to be an Architect, so I can design and build my own house. In fact, I already had a sketch of my dream house when I was in grade 6. I was drawing and sketching during our lecture hours especially when the subject matter bored me to death. My handwriting is not suited for a doctor as well, many are saying that I have a good penmanship which is very peculiar for a physician.

I was in second year high school when I had Acute Appendicitis, I was brought to our provincial hospital back then but unluckily I was also a victim of misdiagnosis and I ended up having peritonitis because my appendix already ruptured when the so called "surgeons" decided to operate on me.

Since that incident that almost took my life, I said to myself... I want to become a doctor, a good and competent one. So I took and finished a pre-medical course at the UST College of Science, I graduated in 1987 with a degree of B.S. Biology. I was a member of the 1991 batch of UST Medicine but because of my own recklessness and happy-go-lucky attitude (fate had nothing to do with this), my ass got kicked out of UST. I transfered to Fatima where I finished my Medical degree in 1993.

Like many of the new male doctors, I wanted to became a surgeon after passing the board exams. Back then, the competition was very very stiff, it was very hard to enter an accredited Surgical Residency Training program especially when you are being discriminated because you are a product of a controversial Med school. I will never forget how the former dean of UERM, an evil bald surgeon nicknamed Jo, maligned me during an interview because I was from Fatima. (I took the medical board exams a year after the controversy so you can just imagine how hard it is for us that time) So I ended up at working for almost two years at Mary Chiles General Hospital, Department of Surgery.

1996, the year my mother suffered a very bad case of cerebellar bleed, I wasn't able to go to work for more than two months, I had no choice but to resign from MCGH. I applied and was hired as a surgical resident in Bulacan Provincial Hospital beacuse its just a jeepney ride from our house. But because I came from a more "structured" surgical residency training I felt I was not getting the most out of the training in BPH due to lack of consultant surgeons, so I resigned.

Shortly after, I received a call from my buddy in Med school, Dr. Rhine Gozum, who was, back then, already a third year Paediatric resident at Delos Santos, saying that they need a Paediatric Pre-resident because somebody quitted. Hesitant, I applied for the position which eventually I got. I finished Paediatrics because of my "palabra de honor." I promised Dr. Ferreria, then our department chairman that I will not leave the department even if a surgical residency position is offered to me.

The rest is history...

Coming to Australia is a different story. I might bore you when I start to write about it and you might start sketching and drawing there.

Fate sometimes decides for us, I know this should not be the case but what can we do? After all, like as what Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get."

The Blog Rounds

2008-03-29T10:12:00.004+11:00

This morning when I logged-in to check on my blogsite, I received an invitation from dr. claire bear to join their "blog rounds," which is actually a group of Filipino Medical bloggers contributing weekly to form a collective insight on a certain topic.

I was surprised she found my almost "non-existing" blogsite...and at the same time excited to join and contribute. I was amazed to see prominent "doctor bloggers" also contributing to the blog carnival.

FYI, I am Abner Hornedo, a Paediatrician currently living in Sydney. I graduated 1993 from Fatima College of Medicine, had my PGI at Veterans Memorial Medical Center, 1993-1994, Paediatric Residency Training at the Delos Santos Medical Center, 1998-2000. I am looking forward to meet more friends in the medical field. Much as I want to regularly contribute to the TBG, time is a constraint because of work and house chores after work... (wala kasi kaming maid dito sa Australia) =p

I just hope I can submit my entry on time and if time permits contribute regularly.

To all "medical bloggers" out there... MORE POWER TO ALL OF YOU at MABUHAY kayong lahat!

Getting Over You

2008-03-17T23:14:00.002+11:00

by Abner Hornedo, M.D.

How can I start all over?
Knowing you are lost forever.
What will I do with my nights,
When all things seem not right?

How did you move on so fast?
My heart can't, although it must.
What did you do to mornings,
When bells just aren't ringing?

How did you heal so quickly?
Forgotten everything 'bout us dearly.
What will I do with my moments,
That are down and full of torments?

I want answers that I can't give,
To all questions my mind receives.
Someday, somehow when I see you,
Ask me how I got over you.

Even The Binibining Pilipinas Pageant Is Rigged!

2008-03-17T18:54:00.003+11:00

Philippines my Philippines... What happened to you????

Transcript from the "Winning Answer" of this year's Binibining Pilipinas - World who will represent the country in the next Miss World Beauty Pageant!

Paolo Bediones: Janina, how are you?

Janina San Miguel: I'm fine.

Paolo Bediones: Alright, so you won two of the major awards - Best in Long Gown, Best in Swimsuit, do you feel any pressure right now?

Janina San Miguel: No, I don't feel any pressure right now.

Paolo Bediones: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of the judge.

Paolo Bediones: We have Miss Vivienne Tan.

Vivienne Tan: Good Evening.

Janina San Miguel: Good Evening.

Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilinas?

Janina San Miguel: Well, my family's role for me is so important b'coz there was the wa- they're, they was the one who's... very... Hahahaha... Oh I'm so sorry, Ahhmm... My pamily... My family... Oh my god... I'm...
(Paolo Bediones: Pwede ka magtagalog,ok lang) Ok, I'm so sorry... I... I told you that I'm so confident... Eto, Ahhmm, Wait... Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b'coz I'm only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the taf 10. Hmmm, so... but I said dot my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.

Scientific Way To Prove That GLORIA Is Evil

2008-03-09T09:30:00.002+11:00

Got this clip from Mark Diaz's Multiply site, I just want to share it with you....

World's Greediest!

2008-02-29T16:41:00.006+11:00

This one is for the books! With the rate the present Philippine government is looting the country of its funds, it's unimaginable what will happen to our "poor" nation. It's unbelievable! We are not talking of millions of pesos here, it's BILLIONS and BILLIONS of US dollars we are talking about. How can you resist or let go of it just like that???

That is why I think no amount of people power, mass protests and rallies can ever topple this government of its hold to power. (Although at the back of my mind I am always hoping for an end to this VERY CORRUPT and GREEDY regime.) I do not think they can just easily let go of the loot they've amassed. It's like asking for the moon so to speak to ask for this "illegitimate" government to step down and be accountable. That's impossible! They will not do that... They are already blinded by their EXCESSIVE GREED and power!

What I think the Philippines needs is Divine intervention. I think God should act now... the whole nation (I mean all) should ask for God's help. I suggest we set a particular time and date when the whole Filipino nation will stop and pray for God's intervention. Prayers can move mountains and with a VERY BIG mountain of money that this government stole, a lot of prayers are needed to move it even for a tiny bit!

Marcos and Estrada combined are no match to the greediness of you know who and her family. Unbelievable!

I pray that it will rain fire inside Malacanang and burn your assess straight to hell.

Abalos' "BURJER"

2008-02-22T19:11:00.002+11:00

Enjoy Ben's (Abalos) BURJER!